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Karma in Bristow Alabama
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Karma in Bristow Alabama |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
July never was a good month for weather in Bristow, Alabama. It either rained or it didn't. No one could decide which was worse, the wet humidity or the dry humidity, so they complained all the time for the principle of it. Tonight was no exception. Jake Rambley, the fry cook at the Bristow Grill next to the Greyhound station told every customer that walked in or out of the door that it was too hot to work, too hot not to work and too hot period. Customers on their way out, ignored Jake, but those on their way in grimaced. If they lived in Bristow, they knew Jake and his mouth. He could chew on a subject for days and never get it swallowed. In the distance a quick flash of lightening and a soft rumble of thunder signaled the entrance of a storm and another customer. "Hot isn't it?" Jake asked. He was just coming out from the kitchen, having to wait on the customers at the counter for Bethie the waitress. She had ducked out back to the bathroom. "Yes, I guess it is." The old man slid onto a stool and smiled. Jake looked at him and decided he was a 'no tip' kinda guy. "What'll be?" Jake asked quickly. "A large ice tea, make half of it milk and put four ice cubes in it please. To go." The old man replied. He reached into the pocket of his faded chambray work shirt and put two dollars on the counter. Jake glanced at a sign on the wall that said "Iced Tea Large $1.95". Geez he thought, a whole nickel tip! As he poured eight ounces of milk into a large Styrofoam cup he thought about starting a conversation with the old guy to see if he could squeeze a few more pennies out of him as a tip, but thought better of it. He was too tired to exert himself. When the four ice cubes were plopped into the cup and the top secured, Jake handed across the counter. The man tapped the two bucks on the counter and smiled, "keep the change'. Then he turned and walked out. "Probably has a million bucks stuffed in his mattress!" Jake thought. He glanced at the clock, it was only 2:30! He had to work until 6 a.m. And except for serving a couple of Greyhound passengers after 3 a.m., his night was spent sitting on his duff in the kitchen. *** The lobby of the Greyhound bus station was so quiet you could hear a mouse breathe. There was only one bus a night through Bristow, and that was at 3:00 a.m. The old man carried his cup of iced tea and milk to the center of the room and sat in one of the two benches provided for passengers. He closed his eyes, tired from even the short walk from the diner. "Excuse me!" At the sound of another voice, the old man opened his eyes and glanced at the bench facing him. A young man sat there, a cigarette dangling from his lip. "Yea, I'm talkin' to you old man." The younger man said belligerently. "I'm sorry, what is it you want?" "You're takin' up some of my space." The young man indicated the older man's outstretched legs that took up half the space between the two benches. Immediately, the old man drew his legs up and sat up straighter on the bench. Seconds passed. "Aren't you going to thank me?" the old man asked. "For what?" "For moving my legs as you asked." "Yeah, thanks," the young man replied, but it was marred by the smirk on his face and the quick raising of his middle finger. The old man shook his head. "What the hell does that mean?" the younger man asked. The old man sighed; he no more wanted to talk to this young man than he wanted to walk on the moon. So he ignored the question. Seconds passed. Suddenly the young man jumped up and flung himself on the bench next to the old man. "Listen to me!" he started. "When I ask a question, you answer me. What the hell did you mean by shaking your head at me like that? You think I don't know what you're thinking? You're just like every other person over the age of 40, you can't remember what it's like to be young. You smell like Bengay!" The old man stared into the young man's eyes, choosing his words carefully. "Listen, it's late, I'm tired, and I'm surely not going to get into a philosophical discussion with you. So let's just calm down, ok?" "Calm down!!" the young man rose quickly and stood towering over the older man. "Yes, if you don't mind." "You people make me sick! You think being calm is the best solution to everything. Don't run. Calm down. Don't take it so seriously. Don't walk. Don't run. Don’t make waves…..it's a wonder people like you ever did ANYTHING!" "Now wait just a minute!" the older man grew angry. "My generation made it possible for your generation to NOT have to go to war, to have more luxuries in your life. Are you so spoiled that you don't have an appreciation for that?" "Spoiled? Me! HA! That's a laugh. I've never been spoiled a day in my life. My old man beats the crap out of me every morning instead of drinking a cup of coffee. He said it gets his 'motor going'. And my mother walked out on me and my younger sister. I practically raised her! So don't go tellin' me I'm spoiled because you don't know what you're talking about there!" The old man's eyes softened. "I'm sorry." "And I don't want your damn pity! I'll survive. Always have, always will." "Where's your sister now?" The young man glanced at the clock. "On her way to our aunt's house in Morristown. She was getting in trouble at school, they were gonna flunk her out! Man, I just couldn't handle her anymore…." "Then you did the right thing." "Sometimes I wonder." The younger man sighed. He sat down as though the wind had been knocked out of him. "Sometimes I wish I could see the future to know." "We all wish that too at times. But if you knew the future, wouldn't that make you change the present?" The younger man stared at the floor, deep in thought. "I know what my future is." "And what is that?" the old man asked. "Never mind!" the young man said sullenly. He touched the pocket of the jacket he wore. Even on a hot muggy night in Alabama, the jacket seemed out of place. The conversation died between them. A flash of lightening caused them both to glance out the glass door. It was pouring rain. "I used to love the rain." The old man said. "Me and my wife, Alice used to go outside on the porch and watch it." "Now here's the part where you tell me she died of cancer and I'm supposed to feel all sorry for you right?" "No." the older man said softly. "Alice is alive. I had to put her in a home a couple of years ago. I just couldn't take care of her anymore, she has Alzheimer's and I couldn't give her what she needed." "So how do you go on without her?" the young man asked seriously. "You have to make a choice in life. Either you let life break you or you take it by the throat and ride it til you conquer it. Everything happens for a reason." "Yeah, so why is it my sister had to move 400 miles away and I'm left alone with a father who knocks me around every day?" "How can I go on after I had to give up the one woman I've ever loved?" Neither one answered the other's question. They sat in thought, in separate worlds. "Life sucks." The young man said. "It most certainly does." Agreed the old man. "I gotta get something to drink," the young man suddenly announced. "There's a grill next door, stays open all night." "Thanks." The young man answered as he rose and strode to the door. He pulled it open cautiously and stepped outside. The station's roofline extended over the sidewalk so the young man stayed dry. As he passed an open garbage can sitting next to the door, he reached into his jacket pocket and drew out a gun. It had been a present from his father last Christmas and he put it in his pocket that morning after he put his sister on the bus. He planned to use it in the bathroom of the bus station. But now, he knew he couldn't do it. His sister would still need him. And someday, he'd have to face up to his dad. After hearing the clunk the gun made in the can, the young man covered it with a newspaper and walked to the grill to get his drink. The old man rose quietly and walked into the men's room. He entered one of the two stalls there and reached into his pocket. The bottle of pills rattled as he drew them out. He'd planned to take them all tonight. Alice hadn't recognized him at all for three months now and life without that didn't seem worth it somehow. But now, he knew he could go on. There could be hope, maybe not for him and Alice. But at least for him. He opened the bottle and flushed the pills away. As he left the room, he dropped the empty bottle into the trash. When he reentered the lobby, the young man stood near the door, Styrofoam cup in his hand. "I have to go now. And I just wanted to apologize for my attitude. You didn't deserve it, I'm sorry." The older man smiled. "It's ok. Sometimes I DO forget what it was like to be young." "Well, I gotta go. Bye." And the young man nodded his head and seemed to hesitate before thrusting out his hand. The older man took it and squeezed it as they shook hands. "Take care of yourself." The younger man smiled suddenly. "Oh you can bet on that one!" And then he turned and walked out of the lobby. The older man sighed. He turned and left the bus station. *** 6:45 a.m. Jake walked into the lobby of the bus station, a small bag in his hand. He usually brought Tony, the morning janitor, leftover sweet rolls on his way home from the grill. He found Tony sitting on a bench holding a gun. "Tony!" Jake yelled. Tony looked up. "Look what I found outside." He held up the gun. "Put that thing down, you could hurt someone, " Jake said. And thought, yea, you could hurt ME! "Nah, I took the bullets out. Now why would someone throw away a gun?" "Maybe he killed somebody and tossed it there to get rid of the evidence. Great! Now your prints will be all over it and the cops'll come here and arrest you! I tell you Tony, I ain't driving up to the State Prison every day with leftover sweet rolls!" Tony smiled and laid the gun down. "You know I love my job. It's like being a detective. I find all this great trash and think about why it was thrown away and who might have touched it last." "Man you been watching too many reruns of 'Murder She Wrote"." "Look at this!" Tony drew a small prescription bottle out of the trash in front of him. "So? Somebody took their last pill and tossed the bottle. Big deal!" Jake was getting tired. His bed called him and he didn't want to sit her jabbering with Tony about other people's trash. "Aren't you the least bit curious?" "Nah. I don't get paid to be curious." Jake replied. Tony stood up took one last look at the pill bottle, reading the name just before he threw it away. "You better give Tom that gun." Jake said, referring to the town Sheriff. "Yeah, I will." Said Tony. 'Thanks for the rolls. See ya!" ** Two days later, Sheriff Tom Wilson walked into the Bristow Grill and sat down next to Tony who'd been there for lunch. "How ya doin' Tony?" Tom asked. "Ok. And you?" "Fine." Pleasantries over the men then drew silent. The day waitress, Sally took Tom's order for a burger and fries. "I put a trace on that gun you gave me." Tom said as he sipped his water. "Funny thing though, it was registered to an address here in town, but I looked and couldn't find it. There was no house there, just an empty lot with a sign that said 'coming soon, Ashland Estates." "Was it a murder weapon?" Jake yelled from the back. Then he popped his head over the half wall that separated the grill from the kitchen and smiled at the two men. "No, it wasn't. The date on the registration slip was blurred. I thought it said 1999 but Martha the lady at the registrar's office thought it said 1949." "That's odd. Wonder why it was thrown away?" Tony asked. "Well, at least it's off the streets." Jake said. "Yeah," Tom replied. "At least we know Mr. Randolph Zillman won't be doing any crime with it." "Is that the owner's name?" Tony asked. "Yeah. Why?" Jake brought Tom's burger and fries out to him and stood behind the counter listening. "It's an unusual name don't you think?" "Yeah, I suppose." "I was cleaning out the trash in the men's room and found an empty pill bottle. That's the name that was on the pill bottle. I remember looking at the name thinking who'd name their kid Randolph." "Did you find anything else that night?" Tom asked. "No, just a couple of Styrofoam cups, like the kind Jake here, sells." "What was in 'em?" Jake asked. "How am I supposed to know, I didn't drink any of it." "Well now that I come to think of it, there was something odd here that night." Jake said. Both Tom and Tony turned prepared for one of Jake's long stories. A young kid came in about 3:45 that morning. I heard him toss something into the trashcan, it made a loud thump as it hit so after he left, I went out and checked it out. I didn't see anything but an old newspaper so I came back to work." "So?" Tom asked. "What's the big mystery here? A gun and an empty pill bottle." "Jake," Tony asked. "Was that the only odd thing that night?" Jake took a breath. "Well, no. Come to think of it. I remember an old guy coming in about 2:30. He stiffed me for a tip after ordering a drink. Then later, this kid comes in. Did the same thing. Bought a drink and left me a damn nickel tip." "Jake no one tips you!" Tony laughed. Jake scowled at his friend. "But listen to this! They both ordered the same drink! They both ordered iced tea with half milk and four ice cubes." [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 06-02-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
 PdV, I really like this one. Jake's character is very well described by the second paragraph. The town is aptly portrayed as well, as any reader who has spent anytime in a pothole with a population sign will know. And I love the ending....nice twist...very nice. And in those places where nothing really changes from year to year, the fabric of time is frail indeed, and may merge two separate years.... Alicat |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Natural sounding dialog is difficult, but you do it very well. Good story! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you gentlemen, you've made my day! Ali, thanks for reading it (sorry I forced it on you, but I appreciate your help with my errors!) and Ron, just to know you like it means more to me than you can ever imagine (doing my best Sally Fields imitation here!) |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
I read this right after you posted it...anything with Alabama in it catches my eye, as I grew up there. Anyway, didn't have time to respond until now. At first I thought it might be like a movie I saw recently called 'The Kid' and maybe the old and young man were the same person just at different times in their life, then realized that wasn't the case. The entire story intriqued me...am still trying to really figure it out. But wanted to tell you that I enjoyed it, very much. Not that fame is your objective...but I think you have what it takes. And I will love knowing...that I read you when... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you for your kind words JLR, from now on, I'm putting Alabama in ALL my titles..at least I know ONE person will read it then! |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
I enjoyed reading your story Sharon! It moved along nicely and kept me curious until the end. Great character development! I found myself really caring about the outcome of the two main characters and was surprised to find that they were actually the same person! Alot was said in so few words. Debbie |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
lookit that - every once in a while you come upon something you'd missed... i agree with Ron about the dialoge - that seems to be a most common problem... but you've been fairly good at it since i've known you. well done Sharon - i'm glad i get to come at a later date and see this that i missed. C BTW - you're also pretty good at tight, clever endings.  |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Now that kept me interested right to the end without wandering once (I should explain I drift off if it is boring), so lady, this was good. I agree you are very good at the dialogue, I learned a thing or three! ~* Sharon *~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Your characterizations were on the money--especially Jake. And I've told ya a million times I love your twists of irony. I'm impressed. This was tightly woven, and the attention to detail created the drama. Brava, lady! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Poet, good tight story, with excellent dialogue. Does it count that I guessed the twist before the end. You did it so well though I was enthralled to the end. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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paladin
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930Pensacola,Fl. |
Excellent slice of life story.Reminds me of Steinbeck.I enjoyed it. paladin |
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