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fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958


0 posted 2001-05-18 05:29 AM


This is one of my tales about human nature in our modern times.  It is about the notion that humanity as a whole is without purpose, or at least, no longer feels that it has any intrinsic value.  Most of the things in this story are symbolic.  Hope you like it.




I trampled on the old ruins, steadying myself as I stepped on flattened surfaces sitting at rediculous angles.  Father walked behind me, steadying me as I went.  

"This one looks nice," father said, both to me and to the party that walked some twenty metres behind.  He picked up the old dead fish.  

I almost died as I smelled the awful stench that came from the carcass.  Father simply smiled.

"You'll get used to it soon, son."  His words were reassuring, while at the same time tinged with comical observation.

"You know, Don," Jack came walking up to us.  "You shouldn't have brought the boy here at such an early age."

"He'l be fine," father said, now smiling.  "He just needs to get used to things.  He needs to be able to gather food when the tides come in...  Once I--"

"Don't."  Jack stopped him.

Nothing more was said for a while.  The ruins were more wonderful than I'd expected them to be.  Father had always painted a bleak picture of them.  The old rocky images of people and the pillars and walls all mangled and scattered about seemed to me to be like some sort of art.  Off in the distance, across the bay, I could see tall buildings.  Father had said that they used to look a lot more beautiful, but now they were dead.  I thought they looked wonderful none the less.

I kept thinking.  What were these ruins before they became ruins?  What building or structure had they been?

"Father,"  I said.  "What did the ruins used to be?"

"They called it a 'church,' son."  Father responded.

"What's a church?" I asked.

"Nobody knows."  Father responded, smiling at my curiousity.

We walked back home, and father cooked the fish we'd found.  As we ate around the table, father told me of my duties, as he'd told me so many times before.

"When I die," He began, as he did at least once a week.  "You must carry on the family.  You must feed yourself and help the others.  Understand?"

He then smiled.  Sometimes the conversation would end, or else another topic would be found.  Perhaps we would discuss the moon that people claimed to have seen a few nights ago.  Sometimes we even talked of boats that had been seen off in the distance.  This inevitably led to us wondering of there were any other people around.  But nobody cared.  The conversation usually only lasted about ten minutes, after which we'd both conclude that there was no way to tell.  This time, however, Father remained silent.

I still sat there thinking.  What had those buildings been for?  Did anyone live in them?

Father died that night.  He never gave any last words, but just sighed as I looked out my window at those same monotonous rocks and mountains.

I didn't really cry; death had to come for each person.  

As I buried my father, I remembered what he'd told me.  "You must carry on the family."  That night, as I waited for morning, when it would be my turn to fish through those ruins for myself, I could not sleep.  

Were there any other people?
What was this moon that people said they sometimes saw?
What was a church?

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

© Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2001-05-18 04:49 PM


Very well-written piece here... some really deep meaning here, I know. You do this really well. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Sharon
Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 53
Within a whisper
2 posted 2001-06-11 10:56 PM


I enjoyed this, but I found the curiosity of the boy encouraging. Perhaps society, one boy at a time, can change?
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-06-12 01:38 AM


Nice job, Fractal... this was very interesting, your usual apocalyptic/bleak world view.     As you are so good at pulling it off.
The last paragraph was well done in my opinion, I must applaud you on that portion of it.  I also like the abruptness of the dying of the father.  Where some would paint a power to a death by educating the reader about the character, you made me despair for not having gotten to know him better.  This was very nicely done, although I know that it has little to do with the actual core content of the story.
As far as that is concerned, I'd have to say you did a great job on the symbolism.  I'll refrain from analysis until I see what a few more people have to say.  (I might have missed something).
Thanks for the read, man.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
4 posted 2001-06-14 03:57 PM


Your bleak futurescapes are just incredible, Kevin. I'm not the most perceptive reader in the world, I'll admit that readily. My interpretation of this is that humans are searching, yet all we manage to find is bad, we only see the worst of people, we quest after sin and our own pleasure(the rotten fish). And the story seems to say that this all because we have abandoned god (ruined church), have lost touch with other people (the seperation of the people in the story, the lack of emotion when the boy's father dies) and we have also lost the sciences (Just a lack of caring if others are out there, what the moon is). But the main character sends a glimmer of hope that says an individual can go against this norm.

Well, that's what I think, I may be totally off base (I probably am) but I enjoyed thinking it all through, I really would like to hear what you thought when you wrote this. Thank you for writing, Kevin

"They that start by burning books will end by burning men." -- Heinrich Heine

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

5 posted 2001-06-14 04:32 PM


You were close to the meaning of the story.  The story represents much of my fears about the way our world is going.  The following is the characterization that I see, coupled with the images from the story:

The various images, such as the rotten fish and the families being separated represented the very bleak style of living in our modern times.  There is nothing new.  The fish is rotten.  The food we eat[it intellectual pursuits] are based upon the assumption that there is no wonder left, and that everything is just old hat.[runaway reductionism, like Richard Dawkins and company]  The moon and the church represent the general feelings that we have purpose.  The moon is that faint glimmer of hope that there might be a God, but that nobody really takes seriously or cares about.  The church is that forgotten idea of religion and purpose beyond our own survival.

The lack of emotion at the main character's father's death is the climactic display of that mentality of runaway reductionism.  Since death will come anyway, and life really doesn't have much of a higher purpose than our own individual survival, the death was basically just another event, just another day.

The "you must carry on the family" sentiment that goes through the story is another expression of "darwinism" as applied as a philosophy by which to live.  Carry on the species, keep yourself alive and reproduce so that the species survives.  

So, this whole story is an expression of my fears that the world as a whole is:

1>  losing its individuality / spirituality to a more practical doctrine of meaningless pursuits that are only worthwhile because they are pleasurable, but not necessarily good

2>  decaying and capitulating to the so-called truths of nihilism

3>  Basically uncaring, believing that there are no absolutes aside from the notion that one must survive and propel his genes forward, and that that is the only purpose in life.

Now I'm not trying to promote any one religion or philosophy.  I am just trying to express my fear that we have lost our beliefs, whatever they may be, and replaced them solely with science.  I believe that one can be religious or have any other philosophical belief that may not necessarily be 'rational' and still pursue science and curiosity.

Anyhow, glad you all liked the story.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

[This message has been edited by fractal007 (edited 06-14-2001).]

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