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Dead Kisses
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Dead Kisses |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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(To Chris - this is a mere short short story! Be nice to it!  )Everywhere, the daisies are blooming. Tiny white stars of fragile strength. It's an early spring. Too early for cabbage butterflies or the faint prick of near summer heat on your skin. But the daisies shine, not knowing it could turn cold tomorrow; tomorrow could beat them into premature, muddy death. You look at those small beacons of summer hope, watch their earnest faces turned in trust towards the sun hidden behind the clouds, waiting for the kiss of light. When was the last time you were kissed? When was that time? You tread outside, barefoot on cold concrete, stone tingling your soles. You pause by the edge of damp ground, watch a worm hump through the soil. You stoop, and, with a vicious twist, prevent a clutch of daisies from receiving their life-giving kiss. Is it tears or spots of solemn rain that splatter on your hands? You look up and realise you cannot defeat the delicate blossoms gleaming on your lawn. Too many mouths waiting for kisses. With slumped shoulders, and your crushed handful of daisies you drag yourself inside, back to your lonely kitchen sink with its dishes clattering for cleanliness. The phone cries a shrill warning of imminent invasion. A faint hope of his voice soon carressing your ear is swiftly suppressed. Sighing you grasp the receiver and your 'good morning' suggests you really wish it were the hours of night time oblivion. Sally squawks in your ear. Your eyes escape into the sky outside your window, looking for the sun to kiss you. Murmuring 'uhha's' and 'oh really?'s' you fly behind the clouds, seeking. Remembered heat, lips flooding warmth into your soul like brandy, and your cheeks flush. With a jerk, you realise the sounds in the receiver have formed into his name. 'Pardon?' quavers into the silence; the expectant hush. Sally informs you with gossipy relish that your own sun is now kissing the lips of a very beautiful rose. A controlled goodbye precedes a violent smashing of the receiver into its cradle, and somehow your fists are beating the floor. It doesn't rain inside so those must your tears wetting the uncaring wood. Later, swaddled in silence, you stare at the cold clouds and go no further. You might dig up that lawn. Maybe make a patio; good for entertaining squawking Sally's. And that rose plant: it does need a very thorough prune. The sun breaks from its jail of clouds. A light kiss on your cheek, mocking you. Worse than memory. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Welcome to Passions in Prose! I hope Chris knows how lucky he is. ------------------ Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings? DreamEvil© |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Wow. Oh, wow. You've done performed the jab to the heart, my dear. Very well done. I would make a minor comment on one place, but heck, I'm going to leave well enough alone. ------------------ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Thanks DE! (UM - why is Chris lucky?!) Sunshine - now I'm really curious...I can handle it! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
DE, she was telling ME to be nice to it. She started it though, so you can't blame me!  neener-neener Severn!Severn... I have nothing bad to say about this. It carries a sweet melencholy that whispers at hope, while shouting defeat. It is very intricate, and I'll have to re-read it a few times, before I can be sure I've recogniZed all the metaphors and similies. (I hope I've used the right words there!) I also must say that your semblance between the seasons and your soul are magnificently rendered. I too hate the rain. But remember this: Without the rain, we have no true comprehension of the real beauty of the sun. I hope you didn't write this from personal experience. But if you did, I must say that you channeled your pain and aggressions into a beautifuly painful melody. ------------------ I believe in the sand beneath my toes. The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling. I believe in the faith that grows. -Stephan Jenkins- [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 08-28-99).] |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Oh my...were you peeking in my window?? This was excellent Severn! Well done------------------ "Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain* |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Chris - I don't hate the rain at all. Quite the contrary. The sun was merely metaphoric for the man - in the end the speaker hated the sun, or scorned it. Not personal experience either, though I've had similar! Those were the right the words. Thanks so much for your praise and input - very valuable to me! Satiate - Warm fuzzies! Thanks! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Hmmm, Maybe I misinterpreted then, perhaps you could enlighten me. You likened the raindrops to your tears. Crying is usually indicative of grief, which is something most people abhor. If you liken them, then wouldn't that show that perhaps the rain, reflected as your tears, is not a desired thing? Just curious, it in no way detracts from your story-which by the by I think is the best I've read of you so far! ------------------ I believe in the sand beneath my toes. The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling. I believe in the faith that grows. -Stephan Jenkins- |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Chris: Ahhh! BUT.(heheh)The speaker's tears aren't actually likened to rain at all. The first time it was mentioned it is ambiguous whether the speaker is crying or not - is it rain or tears? Check - because there is no reason yet for the speaker to cry, except for an unexplained feeling of sadness. The second time there is a reason, so the tears become a reality - already linked to rain which links further to the sky (sun cloud) imagery. So rain and tears are in fact two separate things. Perhaps the tears could be seen as a cleansing thing - like rain, so therfore not abhorrent.(My God - we're 'arguing' over my story. We're terrible!)(Grin). Hope that gives some enlightenment. Thanks for the compliment - cheered me up somewhat! |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
This had very good imagery. I could picture it all happening |
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