Critical Analysis #1 |
Lexiholic |
Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I slept into the Saturday Morning laze Hungover from Nintey-eight proof Lexis drunk Straight from the quatrain Vocabulary so potent It leaves me Heady To see your voice Traversing The reserve between us Lexis lectrons Sprawling through The molecular lattice works Of my skin From utterances of Oh That echo in nostalgic synapse Sleeping in the Saturday Laze No twelve Steps to therapy for this Craving Parched Give me a shot Straight up I am Rebel And I’m a lexiholic How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. -Marcus Aurelius |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
DAMN! Potent Stuff Rebel! Love the close (hell-I love this entire work!) It screams a quiet passion, layers, layers, layers of messages and sharp innuendo! Good Stuff, a touch of heat...the passionate plea of need-Ouch! My fingers! Til Again, ~haze |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thank you lexissa ... this one rolled off like a guitar solo in a smokey bar -- pure feel and no thought -- it's nice when it happens like that -- you look back and say -- I'll never do that again... the magic of feel playing Here's some bactine for those fingers dear... Thanks again.. |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
The imagery in it is amazing i absolutly love the line Lexis drunk Straight from the quatrain and That echo in nostalgic synapse Sleeping in the Saturday Laze I have one thing to say OH!!!!! Thanks for posting. I personally would not change a single thing in this poems. |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Rebel, I could feel this piece, as I, too, am an addict, although I never get quite the results you present. I see that this was a stream of consciousness work, just flowing onto the page...I love it when that happens. Very good work, LR, Kristine |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thankyou Tony and Warmhrt... this one was lots of fun -- the hangover.. and the party.. LOL |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
love it, love it. still, so many words? What about . . . soused on straight haiku i slept all through saturday five-seven-five proof but you did it first. brilliant |
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fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
yep this is good work, really good, and yep I know, the ones that roll staight off of feeling are the ones that are usually the best...as is this..... |
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