Critical Analysis #1 |
I am |
Kevin Taylor Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 185near Vancouver, BC, Canada |
. I am the fulcrum the base and the lever I am the space and the form and the game I am the maker the vessel the dreamer the teller the namer the cymbal un-named I am the vision the vista the seer I am the lintel the door and the frame I am the lock the key and the knocker the handle the pause and the knocker again I am the palm and the fist and the shoulder I am the sole and the road and the stride I am the zephyr the still and the echo I am the reason the song and the rhyme Kevin "Poetry is, at once, what you get... and how you got there." |
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© Copyright 2000 Kevin Taylor - All Rights Reserved | |||
patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
Hello Walt Whitman.. Good poem, i liked it, especially the last couple of lines I am the reason' The song and the rhyme Very cool.. |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Hello, I liked the concept and theme (reminded me of Buddhism for some reason but I'm guessing its about a generic "higher power" and the answer to it all) however the content just didn't grab me enough. I think what turned me off a bit was the repetition, it seemed to be too much of it. Perhaps consider breaking up the reps with a different stanza mid-poem, one with a little more meat on it and then return to the reps. Just an idea. ANyways, an interesting read and a good attempt at describing something that is everything. Thanks and take care, Trevor [This message has been edited by Trevor (edited 01-28-2000).] |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
I disagree with Trevor... I loved the lyrical play...the depth in the simple (yet complex) string of images! And we are everything unto ourselves... Grand Kudos! |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I'm with Haze on this one. A very simple structure with a fascinating almost rhyme scheme. This almost seemed to sing itself to me. Nice work. Thanks. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I think this to be excellent work. It does have a very nice flow to it -- all the way up until the end where I tripped over those last few lines and broke my elbow..kind of a hard landing Captain... LOL but it's still quite good... The 'I Am' theme could be interpreted as Trevor read it though since it is the Hebrew name for god -- 'I Am'=Yaweh |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
kevin-- simply beautiful. loved this one. jenni |
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