navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » Dream Come True
Critical Analysis #1
Post A Reply Post New Topic Dream Come True Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Holden
Junior Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 26
Brighton East, Victoria, Australia

0 posted 2000-01-25 08:36 AM


You are like a dream come true
Ever time I think of you
You're like no one I've ever met
To you I've left my heart in debt
The way you make me feel is special
More beautiful than any precious metal
Just ask and I'll always be here
But if you don't I will not fear
Because our love is quite strong
And I know it will last long
So if you listen to me now
I'll express my love and how
I plan on treating you the best
Loving you without the mess
I feel as if I'll awaken
If you're gone I will be shaken
You are my dream that has come true
I hope you know I'll always love you


 'I once picked a daisy's petals searching for an answer. I went through 10 daisy's before getting the answer I was looking for...I love you.'

© Copyright 2000 Jared - All Rights Reserved
Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130

1 posted 2000-01-25 11:26 PM


Holden,

I think this poem is very sentimental...it would make a good Valentine present.  Since coming to Passions I have shyed away at this type of rhyme...I often find myself concentrating more on finding words to rhyme than really making the poem unique.  However, I like this poem...it has emotion and a very clear statement.

Hawk

p.s.-"I plan on treating you the best
     loving you without the mess"

The ryhme hear is a bit forced...maybe you could say "loving you above the rest.."
Justa thought!Thanks for the read.

haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA
2 posted 2000-01-26 08:24 PM


I have to agree completely with Hawk, this would be a truly beautiful Valentine.

Lovely Work Poet...Lovely

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » Dream Come True

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary