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Anticipation Found
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Anticipation Found |
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angelrocket Junior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 12Salt Lake City, Utah USA |
My mind to your mind-your soul to my soul melodic union finds desire fervidly nurtured Anticipation finds melancholy pounding hearts... yours, mine.. aching for passionate loving arms soft lips searing moist tracing fingertips physical smoldering desire emblazoned by softest fingerstrokes fiery Anticipation finds Feverish desire intensifies seeing your blue eyes want me feeling your touch want mine throbbing desire submerged in moist explosion whispered moaning release hearing your moan shroud mine. < !signature--> "driven by passion and its need for expression--its need for lyrical, beautiful expression" Angeline [This message has been edited by angelrocket (edited 01-23-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Angeline - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kevin Taylor Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 185near Vancouver, BC, Canada |
OK. Cold showers everyone. On the double and skip the soap. Sheesh! That was close! Hey! Didn't I say to shower in your clothes? Well, I MEANT it! Hey angelrocket.. I was expecting a Vulcan kinda thing and then ba-zooom! something about a moist explosion and I KNEW you weren't talking Spock's Vulcan side any more. But too late. Wayyy to late. Kevin "Poetry is, at once, what you get... and how you got there." |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Wayyy heyyy Angeline you're back with a .. er .. er ... well, a bang, in a manner of speaking ~smile~ Just for a moment there I thought I'd somehow bypassed the safeguards that prevent people like lil ole innocent me accessing the adult forum  .(this time I need the Ravel to calm me down! Btw sorry for not coming back to you on that, but I'm in the UK and the track I was listening to was on a kinda compendium of classical stuff - a special release by the BBC I think) As to the poem (at last): Once the distraction of the subject matter had been dealt with (employing the Kevin T method .. lol) I still found I enjoyed the poem as a poem if you see what i mean. I'd be interested to know why you chose that particular format for the lines? It brightened up my morning thanks Angel, Philip |
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angelrocket Junior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 12Salt Lake City, Utah USA |
Kevin, Thank you for your sweet funny positive commentary! Do you think this is too risque for this forum? Honestly? Angeline "driven by passion and its need for expression--its need for lyrical, beautiful expression" Angeline |
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Kevin Taylor Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 185near Vancouver, BC, Canada |
Ohhh! Behaave! It's positively mmwaah as the Frenchsay say. Not at all too risquee... If you'd left nothing for the imagination it would belong in Adult. < !signature--> Kevin "Poetry is, at once, what you get... and how you got there." [This message has been edited by kevintaylor (edited 01-23-2000).] |
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angelrocket Junior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 12Salt Lake City, Utah USA |
Philip! So nice to hear from you again, thanks for the info on Ravel! Really, is Ravel that calming!?? btw I have blue eyes too! Yes, I'm back! I am happy that you enjoyed this poem! your commentary on my previous verse was one motivating factor, although motivation for my 'verse' seems to peak only rarely and valleys/plateaus for a long time--like this time-my last one was 2 months ago! My verse will probably always be a passion/love/physical type, as well. I hope this one is not too intense for this forum! My intention was for this to be read/said by either gender to the other and accurately portray the spectrum of feeling for both, I think I was pretty close on that!? don't you? The line format started as an attempt to begin every line with the "capstone phrases" but was way too unwieldy, too wordy. It seemed to flow more rhythmically and lyrically, if in using each phrase sparingly, you COULD hold the thought of each capstone phrase at the beginning of the section while reading through something like this Anticipation finds aching... anticipation finds soft lips... anticipation finds tracing..., then "aching for" passionate... aching for soft... aching for tracing.. aching for physical...etc. down the 1st section. The 2nd section follows the same idea, but the lines would instead begin with Feverish desire intenifies seeing your... Feverish desire intenifies feeling your... Feverish desire intenifies hearing your... with the same idea on "feeling your" feeling your touch... feeling your throbbing... feeling your whispered... If I make sense at all...! So interesting that this one practically penned itself in about 45 minutes...I did have to work with a thesaurus at my fingers to avoid redundancy, which really helped... Now, analyze critically, Philip my friend! A La Ravel, no less! For the brightening of your morning(with the COLD shower LOL)-you are most welcome! Angeline< !signature--> "driven by passion and its need for expression--its need for lyrical, beautiful expression" Angeline [This message has been edited by angelrocket (edited 01-23-2000).] |
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