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Sea Of Faith (A Sonnet)
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Sea Of Faith (A Sonnet) |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
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Sea Of Faith I tossed my heart into the deep blue sea Of love, and then, I watched it float away And wondered if it would drift back to me In waves that crashed upon the shore someday The rhythm of the waves in cadence rang Where high upon the rocky cliff I stood And in eternal notes to him, I sang In hopes that he would answer if he could I threw my faith out to the sea that day Then looked to find him standing by my side He pulled me close to him above the bay And begged me cast my fears out to the tide I cast my love and faith out to the sea And in his arms he brought them back to me At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. ~Plato |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Ruth: This is a truly beautiful sonnet with rhyme scheme, syllable count, and number of lines all flawlessly intact. The third line is the only line I had trouble with as far as meter is concerned. I could read it either: and WOND- / -ered if / it would / drift BACK / to ME or and WOND- / -ered IF / it would / drift BACK / to ME As far as I am able to tell from my reading on meter thus far (God, I need a life) is that acceptable substitutions of metrical feet in iambic verse are usually (1) at the beginnings of lines, (2) after pauses in mid-line and (3) as an anacrusis (extra syllable at the beginning of a line) or a feminine ending (unstressed 11th syllable in a line). I know there are differing views on this but most of those I have read on the subject accept these as conventional exceptions. I told you that you created a monster.  Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Ruth, I simply can't find anything wrong with this one. This is really pretty. I had no trouble with the flow but think I would like to see a little punctuation. I know how it was intended to read without any but, I guess I am still a little old fashioned. Thanks. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
And what a beautiful sonnet it is!!  Denise |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Ruth, What a perfectly lovely sonnet, on the subject most traditional sonnets were about. Being a diehard romantic, poems like this one appeal to me most. Just beautiful, warmhrt |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
beautiful i've always loved sonnets... particularly love sonnets sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain < !signature--> "As virtuous men pass mildly away, And whisper to their souls to go..." *John Donne [This message has been edited by poetry_kills (edited 01-21-2000).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Jim...thanks I read the line like this:and WON / dered IF / it WOULD / drift BACK / to ME I guess it's all in the reading, I have a hard time reading it as anything but...??? Perhaps it's just me though. Pete...you'll find that about me, I use very little if any puncuation in most of my poetry, call it what you will...person choice, sloppiness or perhaps just a limited knowledge of English usage to begin with. English was my worst subject in school. I'd prefer not to use puncuation as to put it in improperly....lol, oh well. But if you read much poetry, even the classics, you'll find puncuation was kept to a minimum and sometimes not used at all depending on the poet. denise...thank you. You and all your sonnets have got me loving the things warmhart...I have a problem writing a sonnet that isn't romantic. Just seems the natural format to bring it out. Thanks jerome...thank you, me too |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Ruth I'm desperately short of time so forgive me for referring you to my comment on Denise's sonnet in the Workshop, the same applies here .. but knowing romantic ole me you know what I think ..lol As for "the monster" , take no notice is my advice .. he's well outta control now .. the double sestina flipped him ... "acceptable variations" HUH "conventional exceptions" HUH HUH indeed ~indignant snort~ C'mon JB this is a love sonnet for gawds sake not some mechanistic creation of the "Jim/Pete Fiend Factory" ... where is your romance, your joie de vivre, your heart ... Break out the "red roses" and the "soul" that's what i say ...... Philip |
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