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| Critical Analysis #1 |
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karneliann Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44Baltimore, MD, USA |
blink at the empty intersection the bobbing traffic light silently changes green slips to amber turns red without so much as a hypnotic clicking blinker let alone the growl of restless engines or the rasp and crackle of tires on deep-veined pavement momentous occasions marking all of our lives approach silent and bright as neon signs flashing beer beer beer looking back the crossroad’s already behind I missed it I blinked shouldn’t there have been trumpets or something to warn me? and this magnificent boring blue day that lures me out of my bleak old apartment into the sunshine is just as quiet or loud as the days that changed my life forever "My empire is of the imagination." -- She |
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| © Copyright 2000 karneliann - All Rights Reserved | |||
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
"momentous occasions marking all of our lives approach silent and bright as neon signs flashing beer beer beer" Fabulous imagery up there! Now I know what you want...can I feel this? Yes, but I cannot put it into words...Its almost as if you are saying that the major events and turnings in our lives happen without the pomp & circumstance we expect, and within this philosophy I agree. The poem itself is well written, honed just right. It is not too abstract and the intersection imagery tied to your thoughts is through and through a true thread. I like your voice, admire your work. You are a very talented writer and touch on much more than the emptying of images into a basket. Karneliann...I am becoming a fan. Til Again... ~haze *Side Notes: I find it interesting that we are working with in the same color scheme...But we have been crossing crimson and white much...very interesting...more on this later.* |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Wow...I don't know what to say except Great job. I absolutely loved it. |
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patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
THis is great. The last stanza is absolutely wonderful, great paradox. So true. |
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karneliann Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44Baltimore, MD, USA |
thanks folks! i'm glad y'all are enjoying my work. haze- such high praise from a poet such as yourself is making me blush! you hit the nail right on the head with the philosophy behind this poem. i'm really excited that you can relate to the connection i tried to make between the intersection and my thoughts. now i'm feeling all this performance anxiety. i'll try to see it as a challenge. thanks! "My empire is of the imagination." -- She |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
karneliann: you did it again (*jealous*)... the sounds and descriptions are so vivid and the idea (though i was unprepared for the thought-provoking aspect of the poem when i came to it) is incredible... i hope i'm getting what you intended out of this, but the last 3 lines hit me pretty hard... that every day is no more special than the last in and of themselves, but rather it is the experiences and the choices we make that create significant, life-changing days... something i've thought for a long time but never could find a forum to convey... and now you beat me to it ^_^;; oh well... at least i was beaten by one more worthy... sincerely, **jerome the boy whose brain got left out in the rain and nobody bothered to dry it off when they put it back in |
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