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tactile
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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tactile |
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karneliann Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44Baltimore, MD, USA |
tactile when I saw you yesterday you weren't you I could tell by the patterns of wrinkles by the eyes your slow smile has kept your face as smooth as when you launched me up up up glass-elevator style into the stratosphere while you sunk down below and held me, tethered with your many strings now stretched so far across the miles so as to be almost invisible as the pain you clutch so close but I can feel the slight vibrations which is why, when I see you even when it isn't you I reach to touch, then draw away < !signature--> "My empire is of the imagination." -- She [This message has been edited by karneliann (edited 01-17-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 karneliann - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
this is a beautiful, heartfelt poem... i can't say i identify well with the speaker, but i can always dream of what such a feeling must be like and as i read i feel that same gentle pluck of a distant string vibrating against my heart... very moving piece... was it written for someone in particular or as a removed voice not your own? just wondering... sincerely, **jerome the boy whose brain got left out in the rain and nobody bothered to dry it off when they put it back in |
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karneliann Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44Baltimore, MD, USA |
thanks for the compliment. this poem is personal to me, definitely written from my own p.o.v. it's for a close friend of mine who i had very strong feelings for, who was always a little distant emotionally, but now is distant physically as well. the basic idea of this piece is seeing someone who, for a moment, reminds you so distinctly of someone else that you feel like it might actually be them even tho you know it's impossible. that's never happened to you? or perhaps it's just that i didn't get my idea across very well. "My empire is of the imagination." -- She |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
karneliann: thank you for being kind enough to respond to my post on your poem (a sign of a genuinely kind person)... at first reading i only had a vague idea about the first part, but the second half hit me heavily... the reason that i say i cannot identify with this exact sentiment is that i am currently involved in a loving and long-term long-distance relationship... thus, i know what it feels like to yearn for someone, but not to yearn for someone that does not also return my feelings... that is why the "strings" analogy hit me so hard, because i have felt that exact same thing before... pangs of fervent yearning that strum at the chords of my heart... sincerely, **jerome the boy whose brain got left out in the rain and nobody bothered to dry it off when they put it back in |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
This poem made me think of a child being tossed up in the air and the security you feel and then the growing away from your parents, but apparently I am way off base (I conclude this after reading your explanation to poetry kills) but I thought you might be interested in my original reaction. Either way, I think the poem is well done. |
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falzone13 New Member
since 2000-01-16
Posts 5Plainsboro, NJ |
Interesting. I actually think I can relate to this particular piece, which is no small feat. I like the contrast between closeness and distractedness, and how they're interwoven. Nice touch. And somehow the disattachment strikes a cord, but I'm not sure why. Overall, I like it. |
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