»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
An Irony
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
An Irony |
|
|
Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
I am love and you are scorn for this meeting were we born that after years of practicing love, and scorn, for everything it was determined from above I'd love your scorn which scorns my love |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Ted Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
Isn't that the way love goes.... I like this piece...it is simple yet reads very well and comes to a very meanigful conclusion...good work. |
||
|
J.L. Humphres Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201Alabama |
Good poem; concise and fluid. Enjoyed it much. J.L. Humphres |
||
|
Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
I love poetry like this. The idea if clear, unconfused from start to finish. The flow of the words is perfect, I don't think anything could be added or changed. I really like this poem. |
||
|
warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
I truly liked this...short and so very sweet. Wish I could learn to write such concisely...I always tend to go on and on. Perhaps I'll give it a go. Good work...keep em coming! warmhrt |
||
|
Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Well I guess I'll have to be the bad guy here again. Personally I appreciate the minimalist approach to poetry but I thought that this poem was too vague. Both the word "love" and "scorn" were used four times which I felt was way too much....just my personal opinion. Also if she was "scorn" shouldn't the last two lines read, "I'd love scorn/which(or "who") scorns my love"? Anyways I thought it lacked in depth and descriptions, but hey that's just my little ol' opinion. Thanks for the read, take care, Trevor |
||
|
haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
I have to disagree with Trevor...I enjoyed the reverb, the turning...very nice work...I am not a big one for L-word poetry but this had a sense of fun, almost mocking itself...Again Poet...Nice Work |
||
|
Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
Thank you all for your comments . . . and that certainly includes Trevor. If you don't like it, say so, and say why, and I'll learn something. |
||
|
jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Ted: Welcome to Passions and welcome to CA. I, too, disagree with Trevor (something Trevor is getting used to, by the way).  If the subject of the poem was "love" or "scorn" I would be inclined to agree with my north-of-the-border friend but since I interpreted the subject of the poem to be, as the title indicates, "An Irony", I think its lack of detail is okay. This is not to say that I wouldn't want to know more of the specifics of the "love" and "scorn" (Brad's peeping-Tom-iness rubbing off, I guess). But I think that could be another poem. You succeed in communicating a sort of providential irony in this poem, however, so, in my opinion, this is a success. But since this IS CA, I am compelled to offer one little critique (this is why I love this forum) ... why the commas in the second stanza? I don't see why they are necessary. They make "and scorn" look more to be an insert into the line than a necessary part of it. Just my opinion though.  Good job on this and, again, welcome. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
||
|
Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Jim: "I, too, disagree with Trevor (something Trevor is getting used to, by the way)." Yes I am finally becoming comfortable with me being right and you disagreeing with it Well to keep with my recent trend of negativity (pls. blame it on me suffering from a really bad chest cold right now) but I don't really find the irony in love loving scorn and scorn scorning love. Perhaps if it was love scorning scorn and scorn loving love there would be irony. To say that something born ("for this meeting we were born") to love, ("I am love") does just that and something born to scorn, ("you are scorn") plays its role as well, is not ironic, at least not to me. And that's why I thought it needed more depth, to help clarify what was so ironic about this relationship. Anyways, I'm muddled as always so I'll sign off, Trevor |
||
|
jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Trevor (pardons Ted): I think delusions of grandeur are accompanying that chest cold, my friend. Or perhaps you're hitting that Tylenol w/ Codeine a little too hard (over the counter in Canada ... can you send me some of that if I email you my address, btw. Actually, Ted, when Trevor and I agree it gives both of us the willies ... so we try to disagree whenever possible. I still think I'm right, by the way. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
||
|
Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Jim ye ol' land lov'in rapscallion (don't ask me why I went with the pirate word theme??), "perhaps you're hitting that Tylenol w/ Codeine a little too hard (over the counter in Canada ... can you send me some of that if I email you my address, btw." Only if you promise to go to K-Mart and pick me up some firearms "Actually, Ted, when Trevor and I agree it gives both of us the willies" I'm going to have to disagree with ya Jim just for the simple fact I don't want to get the heebie-geebies "I still think I'm right, by the way." Yes and the insane never consider themselves to be crazy. |
||
|
roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
i love the last stanza. i think the rest of the poem is good, but could use work. the last stanza is so great. i love it!!! |
||
|
Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
Trevor and Jim, We'll see if I can manage to disagree with both of you in future -- but on someone else's poem, not mine. Would the irony that I meant be clearer, Trevor, if I emphasized such a great capacity for love that it loved EVEN scorn, and for scorn that it scorned EVEN love? As for the commas, it was a close call, and you may be right; I give you permission to quote it without commas. I think I'll be running into you two guys again. |
||
|
jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Ted: "Would the irony that I meant be clearer, Trevor, if I emphasized such a great capacity for love that it loved EVEN scorn, and for scorn that it scorned EVEN love? As for the commas, it was a close call, and you may be right; I give you permission to quote it without commas." That is exactly my point and, incidentally, exactly why I disagree with Trevor. The last stanza, to quote the lovely and talented Roxanne, "is great". Why? Because the irony IS loud and clear inspite of the line's simplicity. About the commas ... this is your poem, my friend. Their staying or going, I think, is a matter of taste and not, I think, of substance. Again, excellent job. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
