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| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Flight |
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
-note- I wrote this poem when I was much younger, but the holidays tend to make me nastalgic, so I decided to share it. What do I owe thee little bird, is it not for me to know? Could I ever have gone where I have been, if your flight had been too slow? But then I guess you knew, you would have had to known, for the answer did arrive, with the path you gave from the path you've flown. I cannot know the rest, your message was unclear, but the thoughts you sparked, gave this vessel of mine,just one more chance to steer. Did you have faith in me, was I merely a chance, I rode the wind with eyes closed, stumbling legs were learning to dance. Thank you little bird, Eternally I shall remain, For I have the spirit you gave me, and your presence has eased the pain. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Ryan Whittington - All Rights Reserved | |||
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
The words and meaning of this poem are very good, but it needs a bit of work (noted respectfully). The long last lines in the second and third stanzas should be made into shorter ones. In the second stanza, "have had to known" should be "have had to have known", or , simply, just leave out the "had to", so it would read "would have known". This is a very good poem, all-in-all, and I immediately identified with it, connected ...which, I think, is the purpose of poetry. warmhrt |
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
It was a while ago when I began to see the flaws in this work,as of yet though, I have been inclined to leave as it was when I wrote it....if anything it allows me to see the evolution in my work, and allows the people here a chance to use their intellect. Thanks for taking the time to read my work. |
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