Critical Analysis #1 |
Truth Or Lies |
Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I know this one bends the rules a little but thought it would be worthwhile to submit it for your comments. I have changed it a little from the original, to be a little more consistent, but now not sure which version I like better. Truth Or Lies How could I lie in praising all your rarest beauty, Or you in saying that I speak thereof untrue? Is that a pretense, just your proper modest duty, Or do my eyes just see you as I will them to? I say that I am well beyond my youthful prime, While dear, you sweetly say, in me you see but youth. Are these just lies we tell each other every time, Or can it some way be, we both do tell the truth? I’ve said I’ll never ask of you to give more than you want, But love, in truth, I want more than you say you want to give; You tell me that just friends are we, that lovers be we can’t, But then you smile and cast that look for which I die, or live. Our bodies touch, and we may kiss, and thus we realize That we don’t know, or truly care, if these be truth … or lies. |
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© Copyright 1999 Pete Rawlings - All Rights Reserved | |||
roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
i liked this, the feelings, the message. there seems to be a few messages in here. first of beauty, do you see this person that way because you love them or not? then of age, what makes a person young? and finally the relationship is explained- two people who love each other, and don't care how the relationship is defined. the only problem that i had with it was the archaic wording of some of the phrases. i kind of stumbled over some of them. otherwise, i think that it was great. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Thanks for your comments Roxane. You really found the meaning here. I'm not sure I even understood it that well when I wrote it. [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 11-22-1999).] |
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