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Melancholy
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Melancholy |
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Phoebe New Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 2Singapore |
I have lost and lost touch with the feeling of happiness. Would I be able to recognise when it greets me? When I feel this way Can anyone even begin to Search deep into me and understand me? It has become buried within me Till it is embroiled and integrated into my make-up. Melancholy is beyond understanding. It is distasteful, paralyzing Yet when you cannot command any feelings anymore It sets you free To remain human. This is when words are at their most potent. It is with language that you become in touch with yourself. Language that frees your mind to self-expression. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Phoebe - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
ok, I like the idea and the start of the poem, with the title "melancholy" your first verse is a perfect follow through on the title. but the second verse switches half way through. Up to "paralyzing" to me you are still on the subject but after, you seem to be switcing subjects without quite following the idea through. The last verse follows the switch in ideas, but I still am missing the connection. maybe you just need to add one more verse to follow your idea from start to finish  |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Phobe, I'm not sure what idea you are trying to express on this one. As Iloveit stated, you start with one idea, end with another. I would like to see your intital thoughts developed a bit. The flow of this one needs to be smoothed out to make it more readable. |
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