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| Critical Analysis #1 |
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alone |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas 
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ALONE I am alone. Yet, I am not alone. Time and people whirl around me In a circle of emotion. Yet I do not feel it. I reach out to people, But never far enough. I cry out for comfort, But no one hears me. My tears fall like rain, But no one feels them. I give signs of my pain, But no one sees them. The world surrounds me, Yet I am alone. I am alone. ~Angela Erin Burke~ ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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| © Copyright 1999 Angela Erin Burke - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Red Letter Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 85Allentown, PA |
"My tears fall like rain" Awwww comeon, I know you could do better then that! We're POETS here, we want people to see things in a way that they've never seen them before... I know you can come up with something more original then that...  Red |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
lol......you're right........this was my first poem I ever wrote, so I'm not going to change it for sentimental reasons, but thanks for the pep talk! ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Red Letter Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 85Allentown, PA |
Sure! Perhaps if you aren't really wanting to change anything for sentimental reasons (which is certainly understandable), this would be more appropriate posted on the Open Forum? Just a thought |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
lol, you are right again, which, of course, i realized after i posted it. ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
I have to agree with Red on this one. I see where you are going and the feelings you are trying to express - lets see if we can be less cliche... ------------------ Dum spiro, spero JP |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
lololol, serves me right for being sentimental in C/A, doesn't it? Thanks. ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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PartiStarks Junior Member
since 1999-07-31
Posts 38Brooklyn, NY |
Despite what everyone else thinks, I think that the poem is beautiful. Don't get discouraged and please keep on writing. [This message has been edited by PartiStarks (edited 08-17-99).] |
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PartiStarks Junior Member
since 1999-07-31
Posts 38Brooklyn, NY |
Despite what everyone else thinks, I think that the poem is beautiful. Don't get discouraged and please keep on writing. [This message has been edited by PartiStarks (edited 08-17-99).] |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
thank you, that is most encouraging. i shall endeavor not to dissapoint you. :-) ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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