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Bottled Sins
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Bottled Sins |
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jac New Member
since 1999-10-17
Posts 9tx |
Writing a letter and placing my dirty little secrets in a jar to deliver to my love. I have no one else seeing my actions except the Lord above. Lady music playing in my lodging so mother won't recognize my whorish games and give someone else the blame. I wear my bedtime suit and giggle with my friend in an evil impish way. Leave, I have nothing else to say! ------------------ jac |
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| © Copyright 1999 jac - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
well each line is good in itself, but I seem to miss the connections. Sometimes short can say a lot, and sometimes the essential links are left out by being to short. this could be good, but leaves me wishing there was more, I just don't quite get it....... |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
I agree...something seems to be missing in the general idea of the piece. You might add a bit more information and resubmit this one. As iloveit says, the lines are good in themselves. Interesting, they are. ------------------ "Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats |
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