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Death till we part
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Death till we part |
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Wet Member
since 1999-07-25
Posts 60Brentwood, Tn |
Death till we part Across the glowing Valleys of heaven I am the only one walking these Death Valley Coffins Shall we all disappear Without a trace of fear We all fall apart We lose everything Love, fear, anger It's just not there... Do we not care Although we dare Vivid imaginations It is only left that we Die.... All alone.... Death till We Part?? Or is it just your Imagination??? |
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| © Copyright 1999 David Danielson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I found your poem to be sad and a little confusing. I am thinking that you must mean the words from the marriage vow, " til death do us part", but I could be wrong. Your poem seems a sad comentary on a heaven where there is no longer others, only death, no feelings only emptyness. |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
I agree, Martie, it appears to be about a marriage held together by vows and not love in which each is dying from lack of love, but if this is the case it doesn't come across clearly, I would suggest a rewrite in which there is a path for the reader to follow, not just scattered images will discuss further if you want to clarify the meaning  |
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