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imperfection
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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imperfection |
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lone_poet707 Member
since 2001-11-17
Posts 70black hole named Aylmer |
Rid myself of my misery. In my mind I know it's all imaginary, this restrictive force holding me down. It can't be this infectious town attempting to alter the course of life I have chosen. I just can't shake this noyion that my life is caught behind the 8-ball and it's heading in slow motion, an unstoppable force driving deep within my soul to destroy any possible source of happiness, a mole clawing deep into my mind, dragging out my darkest secrets for all the critics, to remind them that I am human and imperfect. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Joe Hawley-Shepherd - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Shou-Lao Junior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 48 |
I think you got a little caught out in that hidden bear trap that people call rhyme, it’s an easy thing to do and I’m as guilty as the next poet of putting my foot in it. Luckily knowing the trap is there and recognizing how easy it is to get caught makes it easier to avoid. Here’s how it works: You start off wandering down the path with a preset destination (what you want to say in your poem), you get a couple of steps into it and you find yourself at a crossroads (the first rhyme). One of the paths leads to where you want to go but the signpost is confusing, there’s the route that seems to match where you want to go. This seems the perfect choice, the word rhymes and it’s meaning is plainly in keeping with the direction you want to go but it could contain bear trap number one. If you take this road your poem could end up being too predictable for the reader, if they find out too early where you’re going they’re likely to get bored if they’ve been there before. There is another route however, this is the easiest one- it simply sounds right (soul/mole). The problem with this road is that it leads straight to bear trap number two, only this one has the added twist in that you either: Never get to where you’re trying to go End up somewhere completely different Get to your destination but only after days of wandering Lose the reader somewhere on the meandering way How do you avoid these bear traps? It isn’t easy, you need to keep one eye on where you’re going, one eye on the road your travelling and that elusive third poetic eye on places that might be interesting to visit on your way that aren’t too far off the beaten track. Hope this helps. Shou-Lao [This message has been edited by Shou-Lao (edited 12-02-2001).] |
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