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Critical Analysis #1

Like a Flower

Abrahamk
New Member

since 1999-09-27

Posts 7

0 posted 1999-09-29 07:37 PM

Like a flower:

Her beauty's like a flow'r
That never dies,
It knows no age, it is the first to see
The day and last to
See the sun go down

She rises in the morning full of Grace,
Magnificent and love is full of Her
And when I first beheld my
Heart was filled with love

Her eyes glow like the
rainbow
Like fire
Her face's like the queen of the
Morning sun
Her smile gives my body so
much Warmth and
Her walk steers my world
around
And around

Her hair are more precious
Than fields of gold
Her lips are redder than the
Reddest rose
The words of her mouth
Are even Sweeter
Than the honey
In the honey comb

Her beauty's like a flow'r
That never dies
It knows no age
Her smile gives my body
So much warmth and
Her lips are redder than the
Reddest rose
The words of her mouth
Are even sweeter
Than the honey
In the honey comb

Her beauty is like a
Flower

Trevor
Senior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 700
Canada

1 posted 1999-09-29 11:00 PM

Nice theme but it seems a lot of you descriptions lack "zing" ie.

"glow like the rainbow"
"queen of the morning sun"
"smile gives my body so much warmth"
"redder than the reddest rose"
"sweeter than the honey..."
"fields of gold"
"her walk steers my world"

All of these seem a little non-descriptive and cliched, perhaps consider filling in the outline you've created. If this woman is that special to you then doesn't she deserve that? Anyways, thanks for the read and take care,
Trevor

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