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YeshuJah Malikk
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 263

0 posted 2001-10-04 09:37 AM

amidst the sackcloth and ashes of lies
and the battle of ever present whys
questioning hands implore the skies
shedding tears generations before cried
over wrongs buried beneath sighs
replayed before unbelieving eyes

The oppressor finds it easy to oppress,
yet feels deeply wronged when summoned
to the throne of distress-
feigns righteous indignation
for current situations,
but would, if self purpose dictated,
spit upon the carcasses
of those wooed in the courts of coerced resolutions-
Power wielded in the name of freedom's reverence
becomes the cloaked dagger stuck in the backs
of enemies newly baptized as friends.

How long will we let this go on?
The hymn of revolution is universally sung,
at morning fires of devotees without hope;
in the tabernacles of the hungry it is the only dope.
Must the feet of the weary forever trod the winepress
for the gain of they who never tend the vine
but who sated with the madness of new wine
ride rough shod over cries ascended on high
their stirrups dipped in floods of fluent blood?

I digress-
to give thanks and praise to the gods of my bank account,
though worshippers are few these days
in the pews of stocks and bonds now defunct-
In GOD we trust.
But can GOD trust us?

[This message has been edited by YeshuJah Malikk (edited 10-04-2001).]

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

1 posted 2001-10-09 02:07 PM

Hi YM,

Good to have you back. I'm surprised nobody has yet commented on this one. I like much. It's a little dark and probably a bit of a rant but you have compiled some really interesting words and the flow seems flawless, IMHO. I find that I just naturally want to read it fast, almost the faster, the better. And there is nothing in it which prevents this. I don't know whether this 8is necessarily a good thing or not but it works for me this time anyway.

The only complaint I might have, and it is a small one, is the ending. I'm not sure the last two lines really fit or that they contribute positively. I think I might just leave them off completely.

Thanks for a good read.

Pete

Never express yourself more clearly than you can think - Niels Bohr

YeshuJah Malikk
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 263

2 posted 2001-10-11 03:30 PM

Pete, thanks. I appreciate the read and the comments. I agree that the end seems out of sync with the rest of the poem, but it is intentional. I wanted to convey a sense of throwing up one's hands in exasperation- hence the 'I digress' maybe it didn't work. I'll tey to think of something else.

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