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Critical Analysis #1
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To give is to receive (No. 2)...ooops
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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To give is to receive (No. 2)...ooops |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom 
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As I travelled the road to work along the country lanes admiring the views the sunshine and the rain I saw in the distance a fox by the side of the road only me was there no other traffic to be seen as I drew closer I felt compelled to stop calmly, he sat on the kerb as I slowed his yellow eyes looked into mine I searched for other traffic but none could I find by will he made me slow and stopped is what I did these eyes gazed into mine and my heart slowed he meandered slowly across the road reaching the other side he stopped and stared back at me fox meets rainbow holds the look and as I travel on to work I'll never forget that look...... ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. [This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 09-29-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Cindy Jones - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
I like this, of course knowing the author makes it easy  but this description makes it sound as if you feel lucky to have looked into the foxes eyes and he the same of you...great persepective |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Iloveit:..The day this happened...I honestly couldn't believe that he waited for me to slow down, no other traffic on what's normally a slightly busy day....but the way he turned back and looked...Call me crazy but I thought he was saying thank you and I was saying the same...we trusted each other to do what was right with no words, no sounds, just care... And now everyone will think I am nuts..:-)) HUSG ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
no, I understand that the experience was a real event, but what is special about the poem is that you made us the reader feel it too |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Rainbow girl, Can't you give me something I can really go after? I liked this one too. Same deal: clean up the meter but I don't think you need the rhyme. I would drop it. Actually, if you really wanna be daring, I would keep the rhyme and try anapestic trimeter. It might give it a really fun feel. Just a suggestion. Oh, change the title. It sounds like a sermon at Sunday school. Brad Being nuts is not a bad thing when writing poetry  |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Brad: What the heck is "anapestic trimeter"?? Does it involve pain?...*g* HUGS ps: Yep, being nuts certainly helps as for the Sunday sermon...ROFL..it was meant to imply that if you give, you usually receive back and I believed we both did in this act of nature... ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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JTF Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319France |
hey me too I want to know what this anapestic thingumajig is !!! |
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rachana.s Member
since 1999-09-16
Posts 55madras,tamil nadu,India |
brad, me too want to know rachi |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
Not me, not knowing what anapestic trimeter means is something I could go without for quite some time and not even miss it lolol... rainbow hugs |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Also wondering what that anapestinc thingy is...... enlighten us brad...remember that we are not all as advanced as you in knowlege of poetic terms ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Okay, you want to learn about meter (or at least to know what the hell I mean). Go to the Ally and check out 'syllable counting'. Nan's comment is the beginning of a way of understanding the language. I hope you have fun. Brad |
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