To my soulmate (Revised Version)

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Critical Analysis #1

To my soulmate (Revised Version)

The Exile
Member

since 2001-07-14

Posts 52
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2001-07-17 03:08 AM

                                                   A seu amor minha gratitude!
                                                                    For L.S.P.

                                         I have never                         met you before,
                                  Yet your smile, O’ it’s          more vivid in my mind,
                                 Than a lot of those around   who I might call “friends”
                                    I’ve never looked into your eyes before, yet I feel
                                           them, vibrant with fire through those long,
                                                 restless field of dark where no—
                                                      dream reveals emptiness.
                                                          Esperanza, mi amor,
                                                             ¿Donde a vas?
                                                                  Silencio.

                                         We have shared,               the LOL’s and
                                     yellow smiley-faces,     O’ those cherished bits.
                                    And when the river of   my tears started to flow,
                                     You embraced it, with your ocean of content
                                         I felt such warmth,  that the ice within,
                                               Started to melt slowly under the
                                                     Cast of your magic onto
                                                        My wounded soul.
                                                            ¿Pero  cómo?
                                                                Silencio.

                                   You have come to                 me from a distance
                           so immeasurable. But O’ say:     how can the oceans ever
                           create even an inch-wide gap    between two caring souls?
                              There had been tears n’ laughter, tales of lives shared
                                     through a little thin, long cable that connects
                                            both ends. And since then my world
                                                  has been changed so much.
                                                     Salida está mi soledad.
                                                              ¡Por siempre
                                                                     Tu!

The Exile
Member

since 2001-07-14

Posts 52
Ontario, Canada

1 posted 2001-07-17 03:32 AM

Hi guys and girls,

Just wanna say i am REALLY sorry (i don't usually do this) but i accidentally clicked the "submit" button while i was still fixing the poem. It wasn't really that much just that i didn't feel quite comfortable with the "heart beating" part in the first stanza so i changed it.

Plus i also added the dedication to my soulmate- a young lady of my own age whom i've never actually had the privilege to meet in person before. She's been constantly giving me supports and encouragements through exchanging emails which had helped me grow stronger. So here is a little piece i wrote tonight (i like to call it a "tri-cardroid"

) to express my own gratitude towards her spiritual companionship!

Cheers

-Alex

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