Critical Analysis #1 |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
The original version of this is formatted differently, but I couldn't get it to work on the page. Why are we so damn comfortable everything's fine. |
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© Copyright 2001 hush - All Rights Reserved | |||
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Hush, I wish I could be helpful but I can't stop laughing, this is brilliantly observed. I love this, and it is suprising hard to adjust to print on the right hand side of the screen. "Here I am in prison,here I am with a ball and chain There is whiskey in the jar-o" Traditional irish song. |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
haha! awesome, i loved it, a poem about defying conventional means and those accursed computers with all their spell and grammar cheqing! bravo, i dug it, innovative, fresh, with a little rhyme in it, freestyle, cool, really liked the last line too. "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Hush, I, too, just absolutely loved this..the anti-convention of it all...the rebellion in it. And...it made me laugh. Wonderful! Kris "It is wisdom to know others; |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Enjoyed this. Often wondered how to get everything to the other side of the room, myself... reminds me of the Fred Astaire piece of dancing on the ceiling.... love it! |
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Jeen Member
since 2000-06-07
Posts 91 |
Hush As I began to type this I read, "hush encourages constructive critiques: "rip it apart". Sorry, it was perfect. Jeen |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
Great read....halarious...I enjoyed it very much! Janette |
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xEmperorEmber Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 136tx |
Very... Ironic, if you would like to read my reply it would be greatly appreciated... i think were in the same boat my friend. Well goodbye |
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Great Below Junior Member
since 2001-07-17
Posts 13Massachusetts, USA |
Very funny and good observations, a piece like this really makes you wonder sometimes just why we are so stuck in being organized. Force of habit I guess but thanks again for the laugh. |
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Constance Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 393Ohio |
Love it! I agree, although there I'm sure all your english grammar teachers have bloody noses from the knee-jerks. Me, wish I had thought of it! |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Nice rhetorical trick. Okay, I'm a format-phobe, I'm a traditionalist, I'm all those other things you asked. It doesn't work for me. If you want to change something shouldn't it be more than simply to change it. What's the reason behind this form? Just because. What's the reason behind normal justification? Convention of course but also you usually take a breath after a line is done, not before the line begins. Brad |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Actually I found this pretty interesting as well as cute. It was well worded and certainly different. Several years ago a friend loaned me a book which was written entirely in this format. It was difficult to read, as was this poem. I don't remember the title but it was a description of Einstein's theory of relativity, written for T.C. Mits (The Common Man In The Street). Brad, I got a good laugh from you observation that we usually breathe at the end of the line rather than the beginning. Great observation. I still enjoyed it but I wouldn't want to read a whole lot like it. Thanks for the chuckle. Pete |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
was looking through the archives and found this gem... what a laugh! |
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