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Critical Analysis #1
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Fired Class
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
They'd finally let me move to the top, To that high rise apartment building, The one where pigeons grow families, Where that afternoon, I sat on my veranda, Enjoying my comfortable lounge chair, Indulged myself in a glass of cognac, And breezed a book of complex poetry: "Go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children, Hidden excitedly, containing laughter. Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind Cannot bear very much reality." But a vibration centered up the street Interrupted my incomprehension, And my table, consummated cigar, And snifter -- they began to attack me In swells of gray ash and alcohol. Humiliated, I gripped the safety rail and saw The nose that thrust in front of two dark eyes, The tail that raised itself from behind, A body that was turquoise on top and gray below. I ducked to avoid my head being taken off By the wing that flew across my balcony: A seven-forty-seven jumbo jet Cruised slowly down the corridor, that space between the skyscrapers, But just as I saw it fly away Another came from behind. I saw fourteen hundred biding their time, In line to ruin what was left of mine. Then I saw my father, further down the hill. He was on a roof of a Burger King Smiling at me, a knowing smile, he returned To reading his Popular Science magazine. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brad - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Good gosh Brad...what WAS in that cognac? The imagery of the pigeon from bird to 747 was very well done.... and for some reason, I have no doubt your father read Popular Science... as for CA....I'll leave that to little K....for I am sitting here smiling too broadly at the whole thing to be of much help. |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
BRAD!! I remember this one ...  ... and while I like the new part about the birds, I have to admit that I was still looking for Yeats in there somewhere. I know you got a bit of flack for using a quote from "The Second Coming" when first you wrote this, but personally I thought that bit gave this piece the sense of foreboding that it needs. I still like it as it is, though ... the line about the Burger King is especially clever. I never would have thought to use something like that to signify a "humble home" -- but you did it, and it works. Thanks for resurrecting this. Linda |
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furlong Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129 |
Brad First Yeats, now Eliot! But a quote that seems to contribute more than before, and a poem that I much prefer to the first(?) draft way back (not that I was around of course!) F |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Brad, I enjoyed this immensely...very, very cleverly done. Life at the bottom (or on the other side) is not always what it seems in our dreams. Thanks for an entertaining peek into Brad's "Inferno", Kris "It is wisdom to know others; It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 07-11-2001).] |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
well Brad looks like the bird's gave you a hard enough time without me joining in and peaking at your poetry, so i will just say enjoyed this poem a lot. "Here I am in prison,here I am with a ball and chain There is whiskey in the jar-o" Traditional irish song. |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
A little bit of father knows best in there? I really like this; try as I might to find something I'd change, I can't. I especially like how the bit about breezing the complex poetry can tie in with the idea of breezing the high life- that is, playing the part of sophistication without truly understanding it... dowsides and all... still smiling about your dad's Popular Science... lol. Good poem. everything's fine. |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
Now I really like the first version. I don't like to hear Bird's talk. have you ever had an experience of living in high building? In my friend's apartment at 19, I saw beautiful city street and parks and the air pollution. I don't remember where I felt swing at the high tower building. still enjoyed. |
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