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Critical Analysis #1
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Gypsy
Junior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 20
VA Coast

0 posted 2001-06-22 02:12 AM



Here in this forest, she listens to the darkness
Her fear has been building and she can see it
in the tall branches that disguise
the daylight high above.

Inside this tiny fortress, she dreams...
past the ivy groves covering these towers
She has been believing in climbing its thick walls-
yet the maze outside silences what she envisions.

Her path has been changing and growing
with the thickness
that clings to the dropping midst
Deep and penetrating,
she has witnessed a transformation
With only the moon's reflection,
She trembles to her destination.

Afraid yet determined,
she cuts thorns and weeds from her steps;
An opening in the distance,
beats deeply within her heart
running to catch every breath...

Yet as she stretches her arms-
into the lasting light,
she awakens;
confused
to find herself
trapped
and simply dreaming...
of her lost heaven.


To be great is to be misunderstood. Emerson

© Copyright 2001 Brook J. Shaddeau - All Rights Reserved
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
1 posted 2001-06-25 07:21 PM


I found this flowing nicely,
with good expression.

Gloom

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

2 posted 2001-06-29 01:21 PM


Very well-written. I loved the story within the poem. Thanks for the read,

Kris

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL
3 posted 2001-06-29 04:16 PM


I enjoyed this one very much... Thanks for sharing it with us...  

What don't kill you can only make you stronger...

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