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That mirror
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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That mirror |
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allis4angel Member
since 2001-04-10
Posts 82Portugal |
That mirror gave me hope Sending me someone Like I always believed A woman should be Just like I thought you were I fall in love Right there, with no doubts about it Feeling myself free ‘Cause you were not The centre of my world anymore She was pretty, a perfect angel With those eyes saying I could trust in her heart Bringing back The hope you stole from me But that mirror was lying I just understood it When I looked back And saw who she was You |
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| © Copyright 2001 allis4angel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
So I guess you disagree with Mel Gibson's account that women only see what's worst in them when looking in a mirror? But then again maybe that's exactly what you're saying. The mirror trick always has tremendous potential for me but always seems to fall into the same ending. Maybe expand the ideas a bit -- what about the idea of the mirror reflecting upon the reflection, maybe use some personification, what about multiple mirrors, a cacaphony of reflection if you will. I don't know, I just think there's more you can play with here. Just some ideas, Brad |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
I see the idea here- a person from the past who the narrator sees in herself, with obvious distaste. This topic has potential to be interesting, but this poem itself is a little too middle of the road I think. If there was some more association with this person that the narrator feels she is becoming, it could have more impact- some kind of interjected memory, or even just a glimpse of that thru some interesting imagery would be enough to get the reader more interested in who this other person is. LOL, basically that's my long-winded way of reiterating Brad's idea to play with this more. everything's fine. |
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allis4angel Member
since 2001-04-10
Posts 82Portugal |
Brad and Hush, thank you for you comments. I must explain two things: my username and the poem itself. About my username: I'm a man, "allis4angel" doesn't mean "allis-for-angel" but "all-is-for-angel(she - the one I talk about)". My English is not perfect, I think "Allis" is a woman name, isnt't it? About the poem: It's a true "story" - It happened in a few seconds. When I say "you" I'm speaking to her (the one I love). I saw her (I really thought it was other girl) thru a mirror. In the poem I try to say good things about that new girl (don't forget in the end I say is the same girl I love). So, when finally I say the new one doesn't exist (the mirror was lying) because it was "you" (the one), I believed it was a nice way to talk about the only one that matters. Does it change anything? |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Sorry, this took so long to get back to you. Yes, it changes the poem but doesn't it tell you something that two people can move so far away from your intention? I still don't think you've utilized your idea to its potential in this piece. Just an opinion, Brad |
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