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Critical Analysis #1
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Kurt Rhys
Junior Member
since 2001-05-08
Posts 23


0 posted 2001-05-21 02:00 AM


He well-minded t'ward them faced the meeting and spoke in their ring:
"O Akhilleus, beloved one of Zeus, you have bad me this thing:
That I explain to you the far-shooting Apollo's fury.
Therefore I'll speak; but you put this together and promise sincerely
To help me eager-mindedly with your words and your hands,
For I think that I shall make a man angry at me who commands
All Argives with might, and with whom the Akhaians comply.
For a king is the mightier angered at a man less high;
And though even if on the selfsame day he swallow down hating,
He yet also still afterwards in his chest holds rage to its sating.
So you yourself acknowledge therefore whether you will protect me."
       Answering, Akhilleus of the speedy feet then spoke forth directly:
"Be much emboldened, and whatever omen you know of, say.
No, for by Apollo, Zeus's dearest, to whom you Kalkhas pray,
Revealing to the Danaans the divinities' inclinations,
No one while I'm living and upon the earth in observation
Shall bear upon you by the hollow ships with his heavy hands leaning;
Not one of all Danaans, if Agamemnon's who you're meaning,
Who claims to be now by far the best of the Akhaian folk."
       At this the unblamable interpreter taking courage spoke:
"No, he doesn't reproach us for sacrifice duty or plighting,
But for the sake of his priest whom Agamemnon was slighting
And because of not releasing the daughter nor accepting the ransom.
Therefore then did the far-shooter hand us pains and again will hand some,
Nor sooner from the Danaans the shameful malady be repelling
Till we give to her father the bright-eyed girl, upaid for, no selling,
And deliver to Khryse the holy herd of beasts for slaying;
So then we may be able to appease his heart to swaying."

© Copyright 2001 Kurt Rhys - All Rights Reserved
Joricho
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 56
Australia
1 posted 2001-05-22 12:56 PM


I'm impressed by the effort! I find the combination of fairly archaic-sounding compound words with casual contractions (like "I'm", "doesn't") a bit jarring, but I realise the form creates a lot of restrictions. For that very reason it seems like a marvelous practice exercise, if nothing else. (Which is not to damn it with faint praise - I AM impressed!)
Kurt Rhys
Junior Member
since 2001-05-08
Posts 23

2 posted 2001-05-22 10:32 AM


Thank you for realising my predicament in an attempt at riming in dactylic hexameter. Though I have enjoyed most of the well-known translations, I always felt they were either too stilted, too archaic, or too modern, and, frankly, I missed the rime, which, I hope here, enhances the poem and doesn't look like it was thrown in for its own sake.
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