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apart bricks
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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apart bricks |
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Greg_s Junior Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 36Los Angeles, CA |
Though to deconstruct things and of me there might be but not wholly so immediately according generalities in a general way. The almost of like fire is but is cold is not and burns what is is not. The element is only made when it is not made to be an unmade construction. Like this the fire in most things. [This message has been edited by Greg_s (edited 05-15-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Greg Sargent - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Great sound to this, but I could not pull a meaning from it. The "is is" type stuff made me think of Stevens' Emperor of Ice Cream especially the line "let be be finale of seem". Stevens' lines actually make sense when broken down--"let [being] be finale to [seems to be]". Can yours be explicated similarly, or is it just words strung together in violation of conventional syntax in order to make nice sounds? Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
"The Emperor of Ice Cream"? Well, I'm going to have to spend some time and try to figure that connection out (it's okay, I like doing stuff like that). Greg, Don't give this one away yet (if there is something to give away). I have some ideas (more like a flash or recognition) but I don't have the time right now to see if it fits. As of right now, I think this is a very nice piece. I encourage others to interpret this. Thanks, Brad |
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Marq Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 222 |
This seems to be the style of poetry that is popular today. It's as hard to assess sometimes as it is to understand completely. I have no suggestions for changing it. I enjoyed the read. |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
greg-- i really liked this, i thought it was very intriguing. what made it work for me was "The element is only made when it is not made to be an unmade construction" -- there are few elements, everything else IS a construction, a single wall of many bricks, in a manner of speaking, which you, quite ingeniously, have pulled apart here back down to the elements. i've never heard of the "emperor of ice cream" thing kirk mentions, but this piece can certainly be explicated like kirk's example, there are ricochets of meaning throughout; this piece is much more than words haphazardly strung together to make nice sounds. very well done! thanks for a great read, jenni [This message has been edited by jenni (edited 05-17-2001).] |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
I thought that many would be familiar with Stevens' work. Here is the a link to the poem to which I was referring: http://www.crocker.com/~lwm/emperor.html |
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Greg_s Junior Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 36Los Angeles, CA |
hi all- thanks for taking the time to read. i think jenni gave this an excellent reading. i was worried that the core meaning was too simple, and just shrouded by funny/incorrect syntax and grammar. as far as interpretations go, jenni's was very good, and i'm glad people enjoyed the sound of the words. i may try some more of these, although i'm borrowing less from Wallace Stevens and more from Gertrude Stein. thanks again for all your comments. very helpful. |
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