Critical Analysis #1 |
i wonder |
chas Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101Lynn, ma |
I wonder, How long can a child cry before he knows he has cried enough? How emotional can a boy be if he wasn’t taught to be so tough? How far can a man go if he hasn’t learned of this world so rough? I wonder, How long can a child sleep before she is woken by this world so loud? How long can a girl resist temptation if she wasn’t told to hang with the correct crowd? How much class can a lady have if she hasn’t learned to be proud? I wonder, Knowing the things that I know, do I put less pressure on my son? Or do I give my daughter more control? Or do I raise them to be like me? Maybe. I wonder. |
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© Copyright 2001 chas - All Rights Reserved | |||
roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
i like the thought that this poem is a parent's musings on how to properly raise his/her child. i think the rhyme scheme is unnecessary. it makes it harder to have meaningful lines follow the first one. you have to notice that your first line in every stanza is strong, but then it tapers off. i think that's a product of trying to make this rhyme. the title is also very good. |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Hmm. I think the answer, my friend, may be blowin' in the wind. "How many roads must a man walk down/ Before you call him a man?/ How many seas must a white dove sail/ Before she sleeps in the sand?(and so on)" --Bob Dylan I don't think that the ideas of this poem reminded me of this song so much as the form in which they were presented (in question form with "How" at the beginning, rhymed, etc). Losing the rhyme scheme as roxane suggested would probably help, as would not asking "How". Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion. |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
This is an amazing poem, it reflects the true beauty of life, each of the things that you mentioned are so real and I can relate to them all, as well as the thoughts. I have no criticism sorry but I can give you credit for this fantastic poem. ^*~Kicking Kim~*^ "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
This is in the anaphora mode of poetry (psalms, Clarke, Whitman, Ginsberg) but I think you're holding yourself back. This is an interesting beginning but, I say, let yourself go and explore the images, doubts, thoughts, moments or whatever that you only allude to in this 'beginning'. Brad |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked this poem as i also see the world in this way thanks for sharing..i really enjoyed the read keep writing ...? death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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