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| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
He has shed a thousand tears, all for the vagrancy of his dreams. A middle of the road existence eventually gets you killed. Fear held him like a blind man would his cane With intensity and purpose swinging him to and fro all the while beaming his disability for the rest of the world to see. There were days when he embraced the mediocrity of his life, though few. Those days he beamed with radiant ignorance celebrating his liberation from the white cane. Never realizing that fear quelled his hunger to live life. At the age of 50 he faced his demon like Harry Haller , but there was no Hermine The homeless desires of his soul and years of wandering in empty unfulfilled dreams finally grinned and flashed it’s yellow teeth He saw for the first time green reptilian eyes stare at him through the bars of his prison cell Clouds converged and covered a the forest of red hues and orange plumes The smell of autumn, pungent decaying matter acidic and earthy, brown and red mixed like blood after a battle His body swayed in the wind dancing one last venetian waltz He celebrated his liberation alone without any fear. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Anthony Di Bartolomeo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
hey tony-- this is an interesting piece, but i'm afraid i'm a bit lost. i read it this way: fear quells a man's hunger to live, and he lives kind of a life of quiet desperation, you might say, until one day he faces the fear, overcomes it, and finally is free. ok. but what's the fear? what is he afraid of? why suddenly, at age 50, after years of being in fear's grip, does he decide to confront it? how does he overcome it? put another way, i guess i'm asking, what are you saying, and what's the point? there're a lot of cliches and empty phrases in the piece that don't seem to be working to add much interest or meaning here, especially in the last two stanzas. the "harry haller" and "hermine" references are lost on me, but that's probably my fault, lol. i guess my main complaint is that, to me, the subject of the poem here doesn't seem like a real person facing any kind of real problem; i think the piece might be more effective if it were grounded in particulars, made more specific and vividly real. one thing i really did like was the image of fear holding the man like a blind man holds a cane. i've noticed in other poems of yours that you can come up with some really cool, stunning images like that. but i think the piece would be better if we knew who the man was and what his fear was all about. just my opinion, of course, for what it's worth, lol. thanks for posting this here, jenni [This message has been edited by jenni (edited 04-16-2001).] |
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J.L. Humphres Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201Alabama |
Tony, I really like the imagery in the piece. I think it is a comment on man's fear of death. I think the "dreams" may be the practice of religious piousness, which also inhibit his desires. Therefore his dreams would be useless or vagrant because they constrict his action. Then finally he faces what he dreams of and also fears...death. Am I close? Nowhere near it? Either way a well written piece. J.L.H. Jason |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
Hello Jenni and Jason Thanks for the comments. Jenni as always your comments are very much appreciated. As far as the poem goes. Harry Haller is a character from a book called Steppenwolf, my absolute favorite book. The poem is about a man who's fear keeps him from living out his dreams and at the same time keeps him from killing himself because he is unhappy. In the end he conquers his fears and thus kills himself. He live more completly when he kills himself because he has no fear left in him. I know that it needs some work. But this is the first draft of the poem. I have posted it else where but did not get the great comments and critisism that i have recieved here. Thanks Again See Ya |
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