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The Money Pit
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Money Pit |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
The Money Pit by Kirk T Walker The money pit is what you’ll find just behind the orchestra pit where the rich folks sit smiling smugly, fat and ugly. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Kirk T Walker - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
nice job on another poem i liked it .different but interesting  "ditto".on i ain't like that lol  |
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helen smith Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 240 |
tehheeeeeeee I am never sitting just behind the orchestra pit again ! AAAahhhhhhh |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
helen: present company excluded, of course. ha ha |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
You send a powerful message here my friend. You describe the life of a rich and poor in few simple lines. I admire your talents. I will look for more of your work. Ronil (Inspiration for my poems is all around me for my muse is my reality.) |
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furlong Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129 |
Kirk, I may be missing something here but for me the clever play on "pit" didn't do enough to outweigh the social stereotyping in this. If it was intended to be ironically amusing rather than serious I think you rather missed the mark by drowning out all the rest with the hackneyed: rich = bad man, poor = good man message implied by your last two lines just my opinion signed B Gates  |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Dearest Mr. Gates: If by social sterotyping you are interpreting my poem to mean that rich people can afford much better seats, then yes that is a stereotype I am buying into. Rich may not mean billionares either, it may be very realative. Perhaps upper-middle class is considered rich or not depending upon your standards or your own economic position. If, however, you think that I intended to assert that all rich people are ugly and smug, then that is not what I meant at all. Rather, this poem is intended to be a humorous representation of how the have-nots often feel about those who can afford greater luxuries such as better seats (especially when they are squinting to see the performers and couldn't possibly make out from their seats in the nose-bleed section whether or not the rich people are actually ugly or what kind of expression they are wearing. ha ha) Thanks for your comments. |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
i didn't know i was rich! okay, but seriously, i see what he's talking about with stereotypes. but what i also see is that maybe the orchestra pit is funded by the money pit (they are behind it) is that your intent? i like this poem though. |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
roxane: Not really my intent, but you are entitled to that interpretation if you like. Thanks for commenting. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I must be in a great mood today. The first three poems in a long hiatus have been really great reads. Now, this is what couplets can be used for. Great job and keep it up. Thanks, Brad |
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furlong Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129 |
Well then that's cleared that up! I'm semi-mollified. In future please remember that another unedifying facet of us wealthy types is rampant paranoia coupled with a chronic sense of humor failure BG btw I agree with Brad, the couplets were nice |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
kirk-- lol, i've gotta go the opposite of brad here, i liked "on our backs" better than this piece. at first, i had kind of the same reaction as furlong did. (wouldn't that be wild if that really WAS bill gates visiting our little forum here? lol.) in your comments, you say you intended it to be "a humorous representation of how the have-nots often feel about those who can afford greater luxuries such as better seats". i see it NOW, but to me, anyway, that didn't come across in the piece. oh well. the rhythym of the piece kind of bothered me too, especially the last two lines (where there's an abrupt shift to an emphasis on the first syllable of each line). as always, just my opinion, lol. thanks, jenni |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Thanks for the comments! You mean that wasn't the REAL Bill Gates?! (I guess this means I won't be getting that loan he promised me. ha ha) |
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