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That is O.K.
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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That is O.K. |
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Ani New Member
since 2001-04-01
Posts 4 |
That's O.K. We, after months of expectation, and wonder, When we hold a mass of flesh, do not think twice. Are you black or white, fat or thin, light or heavy. When you cry holding little fists, blinking eyes, We just open our jackets and clutch you to our breasts. And guide you gently to hold and suck. We love you, as we are born women, it is our right. Our joys will be boundless if you also say and do so… We think we have changed something in you, Evoked softest feelings in you, we know it is worth. If you deny…..We consider you one among the things on this planet We loved and still love, the little roses, crystal water, twinkling stars.. Who can take it but cannot give it back……..That is O.K. When you are beaten, lost, hungry, and blue Still we open our arms; our memory strong of the little fingers, dropping tears…. We do not mind are you rich or poor, long or short. And treat you the same forgetting you are not what you were. But we know we are going to give you the pain. Not of defeat, shame, anger, and pride… but of love. We will be happy again…if you say you know what is love..Else That is also O.K. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Ani - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hello Ani, Welcome to Passions and the Critical Analysis forum. Can't give a critique right now but did want to welcome you to the forum. I'm sure you will enjoy it here. Things are a little slow right now but look around and get to know some of the poetry. Check your email for a welcome message. Oops, now I see you didn't give us your email so guess I can't send a message after all. I encourage you to check the guidelines and just start participating. At the list of forums, in the far right hand column are little question mark symbols. Click on the one in the Critical Analysis line to get the guidelines for this forum and similarly for any others. Pete Imagination is more important than knowledge Albert Einstein [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 04-01-2001).] |
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Pearls_Of_Wisdom Member
since 2000-09-02
Posts 175 |
Hi Ani, Welcome to Passions. This was an interesting and thought-provoking piece of writing. I don't think I understand, though, what you mean when you say that mothers give their children the pain of love. What is painful about love? This seems to contradict the rest of the poem and seemed very sudden. Unless you wanted that reaction in your reader, maybe you could lead us up to it a bit more in the preceding stanzas, or hint at what you mean. Some of the words you chose were good at conveying the mood (which seemed to be peaceful and loving), but other word choices, again, seemed to contradict the theme I thought the rest of the poem had. This is all just my opinion, of course, and it really depends what you wanted to say with this. If you feel like telling us a bit about the theme you intended, maybe I would be better able to understand and comment. Anyway, this seems to have potential. I'm just suggesting that you try to develop it a bit for dense readers like me right now. =) If you disagree with anything I've said, feel free to tell me. I hardly consider myself to be the ultimate authority on something that is uniquely yours, so please take my opinions with a grain of salt. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I'd like to read this from a singular person instead of the "we" just a suggestion! |
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