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I Hear You
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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I Hear You |
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sylphid Junior Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 30 |
Something whispered tonight To run, run and hide No more ebbs and clouds for you Oh my There is no more tides I AM WITH YOU , I HEAR YOU, I WILL AND FOLLOW And Up as I left my core, bone and marrow I will smash , wreck and shatter To a dead plain wall all that matters Put out my sun, lose light and direction Run and hide all dimensions Press my cheeks , my forehead next to stone intimidated by compassion alone Sleep with my back to that same wall No more breaths taken in performance SCREAMING Murder Murder my imagination , Kill and slaughter Pin it all remorselessly on that wall one by one watch it every night wriggling and linger on And with gouged eyes , watch the last call, the final drop I AM WITH YOU , I HEAR YOU, I WILL AND FOLLOW To find me a mirror, find me an ugly reality Remold my face, sharp steel in mind Wipe it all, it is not mine, I told you It is not mine… And will you Loosen the knots to the world where I don’t belong .. but live its song Tonight again The voice whispers “You hear, bury all , make sure Your ebbs, your regrets Fill your lungs with air like no other “ to be continued |
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| © Copyright 2001 sylphid - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I liked your middle stanza here: performance, the murder of imagination and so forth kind of moves in a is it reality or a simulation theme but the poem kind of peters out when you begin with mirror. Wordsworth said poetry is "emotion recollected in tranquility" but everybody seems to forget everything after emotion. A little more control might give this poem a stronger consistency. You have a to be continued sign there so I'll reserve judgement until I see the rest. Just an opinion, Brad |
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