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Critical Analysis #1
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Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

0 posted 2001-01-18 11:38 PM



White smoke interrupted the mountain view,
Pure like tear gas erupting in a faraway city.
It's a contrast to the snow grounded near the bus stop --
Hardened, plain gray ice, touched
By footsteps too busy to notice what's around them.
Looking down, I see the parking lot,
The ruddies in the ice have been shaped
Like white butts in an overflowing ashtray, shaped
In a circular pattern like a Matchbox race track
Painted in primer;
Or am I looking at the ashtray?
I stop and sip dark, rich caffeine
Surrounded by the ivory imitation of a coffee cup
And stare at the ink stained on my fingers
From the print on recycled paper --
The news of the day, the world in black and white:
My world is like Citizen Kane, Casablanca, Kafka,
And my skin turns to chalk as the Siberian cold
Blows the news into gray sky flurries.
I look for fire to color me but can see none,
But I'm not depressed for even in a movie made
With ninety year old technology, there is still
An infinite amount of gradation in the spectrum.

© Copyright 2001 Brad - All Rights Reserved
Littlewings
Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 62

1 posted 2001-01-19 09:09 AM


Brad-
This one of those poems that so perfectly describes your surroundings and inner emotions and thoughts concerning those-It leaves the reader with no questions or blanks.It made me want to Look more closely at the little things around me.I really like it.However I did get a bit confused about a half of the way down because It seemed you quickly changed course(which is not bad) It just seems like this format is meant for just one subject matter.Great work-very mature and eloquent.Great job.

J.L. Humphres
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201
Alabama
2 posted 2001-01-19 01:03 PM


Brad,
  This is an infinite read. The subject completely baffles me, but it still stirs me in some way. I've read this about 5 times and still can't decipher it. Great one. Now please some explanation!  
                   J.L.H.

Jason
God is a warm whisper from the cool void.
Jack Kerouac

Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
3 posted 2001-01-19 02:48 PM


Hi Brad,
You're poem really made me think.  I may be way off base and I know there is much more to it then what I have to say, but here goes.  Your poem speaks to me of oppression and war, of people who are too busy to notice what’s happening in the rest of the world and unable to do anything about it anyway. Humanity has become cold, apathetic, lacking in color, lacking any sustenance or meaning.  I see your narrator as a one who still believes in bravery, courage, and above all heroism. He is Citizen Kane, a dying man who speaks a single word that nobody else understands, while examining a winter scene inside a crystal ball.   He is a man who is searching for beauty, values, romance, a "fire" or purpose to believe in but finding instead disappointment.  His Kafka world is dreamlike, filled with oppression and despair but leaving a little room for hope, that someday things will change.
Okay, enough of my version, what is yours? Was I even close?

Lerk
Junior Member
since 2000-11-17
Posts 49
Dayton, OH USA
4 posted 2001-01-19 04:25 PM


Wow, I enjoyed this a lot...I reread it twice because I didnt quite catch what was happening immediately.
I would only say that it is so dense with meaning and detail that it almost needs a shorter entry point, like breaking the first line:
--------------

White smoke
interrupted the mountain view,
Pure, like tear gas erupting in a faraway city.
It's a contrast to the snow grounded near the bus stop --


"A little folly now and then, is treasured by the wisest men" --Willy Wonka

Craig
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444

5 posted 2001-01-19 06:57 PM



What's it about?

Black ink paintings – Newspapers – Old movies

I wondered at first whether you’d stumbled on sumie while doing some research on that reductionism thread in the philosophy forum. I decided though that you’d come across the art form earlier and the connection was only coincidence.

The black and whiteness in the art of ink paintings and the connection between it and newspapers and on to old movies made me think that you were trying to prove that colour isn’t a prerequisite of beauty, understanding or enjoyment. That couldn’t be it - though colour does seem to be important and has to figure somewhere.

Maybe this is simply about colour, or the lack of it, everything is mentioned in tones of black and white and the final statement seems to reinforce or explain the poem – it’s a morning expressed in black and white, or gradients thereof.

This isn’t my opinion – it’s just what I think.

Thanks for the chance to read and reply  

allan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620
On the road
6 posted 2001-01-20 10:22 AM


Loved this meditation on the full spectrum from white to black, and shades of grey between...

I love b&w movies, somehow my brain receives MORe than from all the blaze of distracting colour...

Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
7 posted 2001-01-30 06:30 PM


Thanks to those who replied.  

It seems people are getting the gist of this thing and I'm happy for that. It is perhaps my most didactic poem -- I'm not questioning color as such but the inability to see something else. Whatever you think about the world (now or before) if you can't see the complexity of it, the wonder of it, then you aren't looking hard enough.

That is, even if the world were in black and white, there would be gradations. Use what you've got to find those gradations.

Or something like that.  

Brad

mark woolard
Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 143

8 posted 2001-01-30 07:49 PM


"Or am I looking at the ashtray?"

LOL--classic!

YeshuJah Malikk
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 263

9 posted 2001-01-31 01:09 PM


Brad, this poem bothered me and roused my curiousity alternately.  Bothered me because I believe it gets bogged down in specifics, the image that came to my mind was that of trying to cram a sponge into a cologne bottle.  Yet, it roused my curiousity, because I mused on how powerful any one of the subjects treated in it would be if dealth with singularly.  I feel that unless this is written in epic format, it robs the reader of its possible richness.
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