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Saturday
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Saturday |
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mark woolard Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 143 |
Saturday She sits on the porch wearing baggy pants facing west, waiting. She sits and she sings on the steps of the porch wearing black sweatshirt facing west, watching: A city bus (gunshot) the garbage truck (gunshot) Sirens and traffic (gunshot) These will never take away the voice on the porch where Veronica sings. |
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| © Copyright 2001 mark woolard - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Raj_Yura Junior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 13 |
Mark- I liked the contrast between music of a woman singing within and the noise outside. watching west and waiting west means something specific ? |
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mark woolard Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 143 |
facing west waiting. -waiting for the sun to set, another day to pass because she no longer wants to be a child. facing west wacthing: -watching all these things happen before her: the noise of the city, the sunset, and the progression of the years that she will one day regret happened so quickly. . . .but her voice will still remain. |
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Pearls_Of_Wisdom Member
since 2000-09-02
Posts 175 |
Hi Mark, Oh, now I'm confused. Up until I read your post, I thought you were talking about a woman who was waiting on the porch because she wants her boyfriend / husband to come home, but he's been shot and he'll never come home again. That seemed like a neat idea and a subtle way of expressing it. Well, I liked it, but I didn't get the waiting to grow up thing. Where does the gunshot come in then? Death of her childhood or something? |
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mark woolard Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 143 |
Yes, it can definately symbolize the death of her childhood (that was actually something I tried to express "between the lines"), but the gunshot images are my way of describing her surroundings: old, crack alley-type neighborhood. I tried to contrast the innocence of beauty and childhood with the chaos of a world that can no longer accomodate such things; yet they endure despite the darkness. |
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M'Hal Junior Member
since 2001-01-04
Posts 15 |
Mark- Loved it for what it ment to me. I took the baggy pants to symbolize Veronica's passing childhood, passing innocence into fitting into the crack neighborhood. The next two stanza's seemed to support that... But then the last stanza brought it back to your explanation. Hope you don't mind me sharing my different view after you've explained in detail. M'Hal |
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Marq Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 222 |
I think you've got a good idea here, but I don't think most cities are like this anymore -- even NYC. I like the gunshot in parentheses thing but you need some images to go with it. |
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