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sorry
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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sorry |
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porowolf Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 16colo. spgs. , co, usa |
I just wrote this five minutes ago, because of the harsh reality of facing something I haven't in months, the loss of my best friend. you where my friend, my only confidant, and this is what i do. I can’t get the feeling of my skin of what i did to my kin the thoughts to my head can’t get in then coming like a freight train the thoughts flood my brain, Why did i do her? shit, why did i do it? You said she didn’t mean a thing no love did you bring to this little fling. and her words to my ears took away all my fears and your rage grew stronger for me, your brother who took the woman you called lover. but i didn’t know it. you didn’t express it. why did i do it? |
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| © Copyright 1999 porowolf - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
You have my condolences on the loss of your friend, and my heartfelt sympathies for the quilt you obviously feel. Either is a tough burden to bear. Together, they must be terrible. I would suggest, however, this poem is better suited to the Open Poetry forum. I don't think you're really looking for a critique of the work, not with a poem you knocked off in five minutes and didn't bother to spell check. I understand that your feelings are genuine and you're trying to express those, and I think that's great. I even think you've succeeded to a large extent. In the Open Poetry forum, you'll find a venue to share your feelings and get feedback on the honesty of your sharing. And I think that's probably what you want more than a "Critical Analysis." |
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