Critical Analysis #1 |
Yet another poem about cars (No, really) |
Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Well, since Kristine keeps bringing up the subject, I guess I'll try to do my part and add to the on-going serial or mini-series And Brad, I hope this is specific to your satisfaction because if it were any more so it would probably have to be moved to another forum How It Happened It happened in a fifty Merc Too many years ago. It's top was chopped, it's curves dechromed, And chassis slung quite low, With flathead V-8 motor which Could make the back wheels spin And paint in charcoal primer, as Was popular back then. The gym was filled with cheers and shouts For high school basketball, But she and I had private thoughts In mind, and so as all The crowd intensely watched the game, Our whereabouts unknown, We took advantage of that chance To briefly be alone. Outside was glazed with ice and snow, The night was awfully cold, But cozy in that backseat which Was neatly tucked-n-rolled. The hot and heavy breathing caused A frost to quickly form Eclipsing all the windows which Were refuge from the storm. So hidden thus from outside view, We kept each other warm Exploring love's delights together. What could be the harm? A blanket kept for such a cause Gave extra comfort too, And in short time we came to know Just what young lovers do. [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 12-21-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Pete Rawlings - All Rights Reserved | |||
warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Pete, dear Pete... This was just like you...sweet. I think you combined all makes and models in this one, and really made it to go all the way. It doesn't describe one body part, but nicely goes into detail about an entire car. Your words wrap around each other cleverly, as usual, creating the perfect example of the love of engines revving, heat building, and tires squealing. Loved it, Pete, Kris P.S. So this is how you lost your first set of hubcaps, hmmmmmm? < !signature--> All good poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings...~William Wordsworth [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 12-22-2000).] |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Pete, this is simply too adorable to critique. Left me with a ... --Linda Happy Holidays Remember: maintaining a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will certainly annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Kris and Linda, Thanks for commenting, glad you enjoyed. I hope you lovely ladies had a wonderful Christmas and will have a prosperous New Year. Pete |
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