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A man I knew - ballad but very short
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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A man I knew - ballad but very short |
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Wesley the Blue Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426Forest Lake, MN, USA |
This is my first attempt at a ballad, or at least that was my intent. There will be more latter. But enough from me, have at it. There was a man, I knew him well Now I know him not at all Fell victim to the lovers dream Slated by the stars to fall His hearts been broken, right in two Now his eyes see only tears And now no smile does grace his face Silence, what his heart now hears The joy he had is done and gone Though it seamed would last an age No light he sees at all these days Time has turned another page KM Even in the darkest night, someone will be there holding a candle for you. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Keith W. Mullin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
You had good meter, and very good rhymes, but I think that if you tried to tell your story with less "usual" wording, it would be much better, more unique. Remember, poems have been written over and over on the same subject. If you can find a new and different way to say what you are writing about, it will be noticed for its uniqueness. There are many ways to accomplish this...metaphor, simile, alliteration, etc. You have good potential...keep writing. This was just one, humble opinion, Kris All good poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings...~William Wordsworth |
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