Critical Analysis #1 |
Do Not Protest That We Admire A Car |
Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
With all the recently revived interest in cars (a subject I truly adore) I thought I would try to write something relevant. Also, some time ago I made a disparaging remark about villanelles and Philip sort of challenged me to write one of these things. So, this is my effort. Do Not Protest That We Admire A Car Do not protest that we admire a car, There’s little can be altered anyway, It’s Nature’s way to make us what we are. Wise women understand, though it’s bizarre, Our love of shapely lines and curves, so they Do not protest that we admire a car. Good women know they’re better off by far To just accept our lust and they will say It’s Nature’s way to make us what we are. The fancy women at the corner bar, Their lovely curves a feminine bouquet, Do not protest that we admire a car. Most women seem to feel our look won’t mar The beauty of the lines we might survey, It’s Nature’s way to make us what we are. So you, our love, our one and only star, We look and drool without a thought to stray. Do not protest that we admire a car. It’s Nature’s way to make us what we are. [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 10-27-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Pete Rawlings - All Rights Reserved | |||
Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
ROTFLMAOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Ok you win Pete ....... verrryyy good, though dear Dylan will be turning in his grave at the echoes of his own great work ..lol this is really quite something yanno loved it P |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
LOL. Nice go at a villanelle, Pete. I haven't been able to pull one of these things off ... serious OR light-hearted. Under the circumstances, I would overlook the near-rhymes that result from: "Do not protest that we adore your cars". I think that would make the allusion a little more clear. Come'on, Pete, bend the rules! A good laugh. Thanks. Jim |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
yay pete! i keep trying to do a villanelle, and it never works. oh, and this is FUNNY! i see it is a silly thing to think that there will ever not be poems about cars here at passions. that's ok wid me! fine job doll luv Elyse ps, "did you ever notice how pete is a funny sounding name? no, really, keep saying it....pete! pete! pete! hahaha. its funny!" ---convo in Elyse's dorm room late, while hiding from the RAs one thursday night [This message has been edited by Elyse (edited 10-27-2000).] |
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kid D Member
since 2000-10-18
Posts 64 |
lol, I don't think we protest too much, if so why would we take such good care of our... cars and adorn them so attractively great poem |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Philip, You know that this is mostly your fault. I hate it when a challenge happens. Thanks for reading and responding, especially in a complementary way. And for bringing back a worthy subject. Hope I didn't trod too heavily on Dylan's toes here, but I think his is about the only really meaningful villanelle I have read. So, thanks to him too. Jim, Yep, I know what you mean about the villanelle thing. I never gave it any thought until reading Philip's quote a couple of months back. The necessary complexity of steering the reader's line of thought did provide a worthy challenge but until today, I couldn't come up with a suitable subject. I too was a little bothered by the singular car when alluding to a subject which occurs in pairs. On your authority, I will bend the rules. The revised version is below. Elyse, As always, hearing from you makes my day. I'm glad you enjoyed. And I hope there will always be poems about "cars." What more beautiful and desirable subject could be found? Well, I mean a subject which is suitable for the family atmosphere. quote: I guess I don't understand the humor (that's humour to you Philip) but it doesn't bother me either. So, my dear Elyse, if it makes you smile then I guess it's all right with me. But I really don't understand the rest of the above quote. Would you please explain? Specifically, what is "convo" and what is "RA?" Kid D, Ah yes, well cared for and adorned. I think you understand Okay, now for the revised version along the lines Jim suggested . . . Do not protest that we admire your cars, There’s little can be altered anyway, It’s Nature’s way to make us what we are. Wise women understand, though it’s bizarre, Our love of shapely lines and curves, so they Do not protest that we admire their cars. Good women know they’re better off by far To just accept our lust and they will say It’s Nature’s way to make us what we are. The fancy women at the corner bar, Their lovely curves a feminine bouquet, Do not protest that we admire their cars. Most women seem to feel our look won’t mar The beauty of the lines we might survey, It’s Nature’s way to make us what we are. So you, our love, our one and only star, We look and drool without a thought to stray. Do not protest that we admire those cars. It’s Nature’s way to make us what we are. . . . Okay then, is this acceptable? If so, then which version is better? Thanks all, Pete |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
ummms, i think i like the first one better actually. i think it may have a better rhythm. oh, and convo is short for conversation, and RA is a resident advisor, kinda the bridge between the students and the administration. but, they have to enforce the rules...so....hope i have elucidated enough luv Elyse |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Not a Poet, I would not hesitate to say you are Quite the Poet. I've never read a villanelle before, and I loved this. Very readable, and very funny. You must be part of this clever group I've met recently. Pleased to make your aquaintance, sir...just call me mia. Again, I enjoyed this very much...seems to be a continuing series. mia |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
quote: ..exhibit #1 yer honour... i was right, totally totally flipped ~shaking head~ |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Elyse, Thanks for the education and the comments. I guess it's been too long since I was in a dorm room. Actually, I guess I never really was. Mia, Thank you too. I'm glad you enjoyed. It was actually fun to write. Now, while I have you, I hope I'm not a pissy as Philip about the name but I am not sir and much prefer Pete to Not A Poet. So, if you don't mind . . . Thank you and it's is delightful to make your acquaintance. Judging from the quality of your writing, I'm sure we will have many more friendly conversations (convos that is) in here. Philip, Tsk, tsk, that's honor sir. When will you guys learn the modern way of spelling? BTW, you're too easily entertained. But I guess it does sound a little funny when you both say it like that. Thanks for reading, my friend. Thanks all, Pete [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 10-30-2000).] |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
LOL.. no no pete i was laughing only at the spectacle of elyse going even more crazy |
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