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Critical Analysis #1
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My Friend
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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My Friend |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada 
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I'm trapped, confused and disoriented, yes, the car accident, get free, crawl away from car, my friend, i must find him. jagged edges, cold wind against my face, darkness all around me, strange sounds, stumbling to make my way, fear starting to surface. stinging tears, I must stay focused, slow, deep breaths, dog barking, stop to get bearings, nothing is making sense. remain calm, rub arms to keep warm, it's starting to rain, keep going, slow and careful steps, I can do this. hear voices, thunder muffling direction, drowning out my screams, don't panic, thunder is subsiding, Sandy please don't be hurt. help me, I can't hear my voice, shortness of breath, over here, something brushed against me, I pray it will be... reach out, fear gives way to relief, tears begin to fall, my friend, I knew you would find me, more then a friend, my eyes. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Debbie McLellan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Nice frenetic pace. You captured the snippet of thoughts one may have in a horrible situation very well. I was a little lost on who the friend was, the last line wanted to make me think of a seeing eye dog...?? Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so. B. Russell |
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Libbi Junior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 18 |
Nicely done. The jagged feel of your poem was extremely effective, and remained consistent throughout the enitire peice. My favourite part was the twist at the end, which came as a complete surprise. Great work! -libbi- |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
hi JP ...thanks for making a pitstop, yes the friend is her seeing eye dog.  debbie debbie Think of saying "I Love You" as always being overdue. Love is a gift, not an obligation. unknown |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
hi libbi ...first let me welcome you to CA ...I'm glad you liked it, was hoping it wouldn't seem to obvious until the end so I'm glad to hear you found it had a twist, thanks for stopping by libbi debbie debbie Think of saying "I Love You" as always being overdue. Love is a gift, not an obligation. unknown |
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