Critical Analysis #1 |
Launch Of Freedom |
Janie Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158 |
On the splendid green horizon, Lucent spheres sway to and fro Mounted on their sturdy stems In the wind, just watch them blow! Multitudes of paratroopers One by one each take their turn Launching forth to see the world Leaves my jealous heart to yearn! Independence set in motion Forced by human lips and gale Travel on to journeys far! Dandelion troops assail < !signature--> [This message has been edited by Janie (edited 09-23-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Janie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marq Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 222 |
This is a nice gentle read. I don't think the last line of the second stanza fits in too well with your poem. Might be better to take another look at that. |
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Janie Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158 |
Marq, Thanks for stopping by. I know what you mean about that line; I've been struggling with it all day. Well...a better line will pop up sooner or later. Thanks Janie |
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