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Critical Analysis #1
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Three Haiku
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Three Haiku |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
1. I walk over rocks And slip on moss; the river Roars, a stone nudges. 2. Dragonflies in flight From the stream; children searching For drinking water. 3. Spectators have stopped Today to see magic tricks Magicians forgot. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Brad - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marq Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 222 |
The more I read haikus the more difficult I think it is to write them. My favorite of these is the first. The second is well-constructed in the sense you avoid unneccesary 'filler' syllables and articles of speech, but it's not as interesting as the first. The third I think you should have left unposted. Be looking forward to your next three. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I agree. Like many simple forms, they look easy but tough to get 'right'. I laughed at your comment on the third one. Ironically, it's about writing.  Brad |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
I think I also agree that the first one is the best of the three. Though I am just learning about Haiku, it seems from intuitive feeling that your first one is a prime example of what a Haiku is supposed to "do" with the reader. Does that make sense? I especially liked the contrast at the end where the river roars ...then like a whisper a stone nudges. This one actually put me right inside the imagry of walking along the stoney banks of a rushing river, the greens, the grays, the smells, the slip of wet boots all rushed in on me. I guess I now get what you are saying about haiku... let the reader paint the picture, just supply the paint (and that paint has to be just right!) I look forward to reading more of yours sometime. And maybe I will venture to try more. |
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