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Doomsdays
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Doomsdays |
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Robin Junior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 48Cardiff, Wales, UK |
Doomsdays. When the asteroid we’ve been promised At last comes crashing down I think I’ll be out there watching The apocalyptic firework show. As the world grows red around me And others scream in despair, I’ll take a glass of beer in hand To toast the falling stone. I’ll watch its trail fly eastwards God’s final wand of light I’ll wave adieu to all I knew As I do most every night. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Robin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear robin, i absolutely love this piece... seems i chose a poet with a similar degree of insanity for my introduction to the critical analysis forum... the only thing i'm confused about is your use of "s" to pluralize things that dont seem to need pluralization (ex. DoomsdayS, eastwardS)... you may have some reason for this, but it did stand out for me... sincerely, a sad tomato So let us melt, and make no noise, No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move. |
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Robin Junior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 48Cardiff, Wales, UK |
Well Nova, you downcast fruit, I must admit I had to check, but Eastwards is perfectly valid. You see, I'm English, and as you know we speak, and certainly write a totally different language. Eastwards is the original, and eastward is but a variant, although it is now accepted by the Oxford English Dictionary. (That's Oxford, England) As for the plural Doomsdays..... well look at the last line for the clue. |
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YeshuJah Malikk Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 263 |
Interesting. IMO, this would work well if told as if in the moment. Try that and see what happens. |
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Robin Junior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 48Cardiff, Wales, UK |
Obviously, I am failing with this one. My point is all in the last line. I will reconsider! |
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