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An apology(remix)...(a repost from open forum 9)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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An apology(remix)...(a repost from open forum 9) |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
An apology was the very first poem I had posted on passions(I wrote it for my love) and as time has passed I have tried working on this poem to make it better, more emotional, and more intense ...I like the content of this poem very much that is why I still continue to work with it ... so any critique that will make it better will be much appreciated...thank you and I hope you enjoy. An apology (remix) My love so fare and dear, 'tis an apology I owe thee, a sorrow thou must hear. It is you that I love for the heart shan't convey a fallacy. The warmth that is your embrace, is the reason why my soul bleeds. Deserving of much more than what this pauper shall disclose in return for thou Midas touch with a fervency as pure as gold. If I can build a palace from my blissfulness, then our home it shall be. On a foundation of cherishment, and columns cemented from nurturing. Garments of sashaying silk should shield thy soft skin. In white, as your innocence, dressed in my love shall you shimmer in. Your bed should be garnished in rose petals with pillows stuffed from feathers of a dove. Sheets of a satin weave, a blanket stitched from my love. Indeed, it seems to be the case that prosperity has forsaken me. Despite my endeavors, please accept my heartfelt apology. if any woud like to read the first apology..... My love so true and dear i have an apology to state, a sorrow for you to hear. i love you, and this you know to be true. all the sacrifices i would make i would make them just for you. you deserve much more more than what i can give you deserve yachts and planes and the finiest linens. you should drink fresh water from moutains up a top, you shouldn't worry your beautiful face your radiance makes the heart stop. your bed should be covered in rose petals pillows stuffed with feathers from a dove springs made of the sturdiest metal a blanket stitched from my love. No, it seems not to be the case indeed far be it that you would have such things my deepest regret... a heartfelt apology can i tell you a secret though, a secret between you and me? all i can offer is my love a vast open sea that surpasses infinity. < !signature--> "my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- rlt [This message has been edited by JnR4eva (edited 08-27-2000).] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
JnR4eva, Hi! I really liked the remix, the first one on the page. It really is a romantic piece, sure to make her melt.  thanks |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
thank you darkangel for stopping by to read this piece. i appreciate a lot "my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- rlt |
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