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Janie
Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158


0 posted 2000-08-25 01:27 AM


This is an event poem. It's an attempt at a structured, non-rhyming poem. Can anyone guess what the event was?


A pretty boy scans the scene
for memories long mute,
when his name, voices praised
and glorious was hailed

A worn man scours the place
lost, searching for his mind
for when life, as it seems
gave him a moment’s peace

In the air, “sweetness” fills
savage crying, the sky
metal gleams floating by
many spirits flying

Bics glow like fireflies,
dance in the dark alone
Hell’s flames reach out for me,
as thunder rocks my soul

They mock, “Heaven’s on fire!
Par-ty Ev-er-y Day!”
Stone words upon our lips
clap we, our hands to time


Parting, we, restlessly,
ourselves seen left behind
Some scream that death they cheat
yet we kiss them goodbye!


< !signature-->



[This message has been edited by Janie (edited 08-25-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Janie - All Rights Reserved
JnR4eva
Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377
Bronx, NY
1 posted 2000-08-26 12:42 PM


well, i might sound extremely stupid b/c this poem i have read many times and i guess it isn't clicking what-so-ever..and i have no idea what Bics means either....i am going to go on a hunch the apocalypse? like i said i don't know im just trying to take a stab at this...i probably look like a fool now LOL...oh well tell me how wrong i am  
oh yea the other reason i am in doubt was b/c and i quote "Can anyone guess what the event was?" implying it happened. so i dont know...and i was thinking of an airplane crash..but that seems silly too..i don't know.


"my love is my motivation
my love is my inspiration
perception of this poem
is your interpretation"
-- rlt



Janie
Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158

2 posted 2000-08-27 01:26 AM


JnR4eva,
You're a good sport for giving it a shot. I purposely omitted the title because I thought it might give it away.

Have you ever heard of a little rock band called "KISS?" They are currently doing their farewell tour and my husband wanted to go down memory lane since KISS was the first band he ever saw in concert. (his mom dropped him off) So, being a good sport I went along. It was actually fun and I knew more of the songs than I thought I did.

The first stanza is how I thought the lead singer for the opening band, Skid Row, may have felt as popularity for "hard rock" has declined over the years.

The second stanza could represent Ted Nugent, the second act or any number of middle aged concert attendees.

The third stanza...well, let's just say it "smelled" like a concert. The metal gleams, the reflections cast by the disco ball. Spirits flying...has something to do with that smell I was telling you about.

"Bics glow like fireflies"-have you ever seen a concert where people held their lighters up?

"Hell's flames" symbolizes the vivid stage show where fire spewed from the stage

"Thunder rocking my soul" was the loud music I could feel in my chest.

"Heaven's on fire" is one of their songs and they sing a song, I think it's called "I want to rock and roll" where after they say "and party everyday"

Restless towards the end, wanting to leave, yet sadly leaving that part of youth behind, we said goodbye to the band called KISS.

Janie




JnR4eva
Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377
Bronx, NY
3 posted 2000-08-27 01:44 PM


WOW...i was WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY off  

"my love is my motivation
my love is my inspiration
perception of this poem
is your interpretation"
-- rlt



Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
4 posted 2000-09-02 08:58 PM


Damn, damn, damn. I was going to guess a KISS concert - the lyric point gives it away - but now no one will ever believe me. Well, that's what I get for waiting so long to read and comment on this poem.  

I would argue that you probably need to tone down some of the rhetoric. I didn't find some of the religious allusions particularly interesting.

Thanks,
Brad


Janie
Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158

5 posted 2000-09-03 10:52 PM


JnR4eva,

Oh well, you were a real trooper for giving it a shot.

Brad,

Wow, so you REALLY would have got it? That's impressive. As for the religious undertones, I appreciate your comment. In looking back at the poem, the only religious undertones I find are the reference to "hell's flames" and "they mock Heaven's on fire". I respect what you've told me, but at the same time, these 2 references are important to my concert going experience. The heat of the flames from the stage show, though I was far away was very great and what I've written is my artistic representation of how I felt. "Heaven's on fire" is the name of one of their popular songs (that I actually remembered) and if I remembered that song, then I knew that this song for many others may represent "stone words" upon lips as I knew the song without realizing I knew it.

As for the rhetoric, could you give me an example or was this a combined statement for the religious undertones suggestion?

Janie


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