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Where Beauty Lies
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Where Beauty Lies |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374
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Not the whispered wings of dragonflies Nor the golden hues of sweet sunrise ....your lips ........your cheeks ............your nose ................your eyes This is where true beauty lies Not the melodic charm of an ocean sigh Nor moonlit cloud in a starlit sky ....your dreams ........your hopes ............your laughs ................your cries This is where true beauty lies Not the morning dance of a butterfly Nor the soothing tune of a cricket's cry ....your heart ........your soul ............your love ................your mind This is where true beauty lies I stand in wonder at all He did create I stand in wonder at the beauty of your face In this world of splendor I take no surprise That nothing compares in a mother's eyes -jaimie Website: www.ladysixstring.com |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jaimie D. Travis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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J.L. Humphres Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201Alabama |
Lady, Hi this is the first of your posts I've had the pleasure of reading. I really thought it was great, especially the fact that it is for a child. The "not only, but also" format is also very original. I really thought it was great. J.L.H. Jason I...I have seen the best minds of my generation... --Allen Ginsberg |
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YeshuJah Malikk Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 263 |
Ladysis, I second the motion of the first reply. I was suckered, on account of my dirty mind, into thinking that this was about girl fascinated with boy- it must have been your picture- well you are a looker now! Seriously though, this is a great poem, especially since it takes a simple format which has the possibility of snowballing into tedium, and making it work. Kudos to you. I will look for more. |
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Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
Jaimie, I thought the image "whispered wings of dragonflies" was effective, not only because of the alliteration of whi- and wi-, but because likening the visual mica-thiness of a dragonflies wings to audial 'whisper' was in all ways appropriate. For similar reasons I thought dance of the butterfly was also very effective. Butterflies don't dance, but the word 'dance' captures their movement. I found these images much more expressive than, for instance, 'sweet sunrise.' I liked the layout of the poem. I'm not sure if the child is actually a child, and the narrator is an actual mother, or whether the child is a metaphor for an auesthetic philosophy. I don't think it matters. Interesting poem. -Tim [This message has been edited by Tim Gouldthorp (edited 08-25-2000).] |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
J.L. Humphres: Thank you very much!! YeshuJah Malikk: I suppose the last line could be changed to "father's eyes" "lover's eyes" "painter's eyes" making this poem appropriate for anyone we love. I hadn't thought of this before. Thank you for reading. Tim Gouldthorp: Good point you made about the "sweet sunrise". Also, yes, this was actually written for two of God's most amazing creations... my daughters Brittny and Kristin. Thank you for your comments, I found them very encouraging. -jaimie |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
hi jaimie  THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! I really enjoyed reading it, you captured something very simple yet beautiful at the same time. debbiedebbie Think of saying "I Love You" as always being overdue. Love is a gift, not an obligation. unknown |
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