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Critical Analysis #1
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The Artist (Re-write)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Artist (Re-write) |
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Janie Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158 |
The Artist Sadly, he shakes his head thinking: there lies nothing upon nothing within nothing, yet exists just the same. A chastened spec of primordial paint on an artist’s canvass of blood came to this existence as it fell into the abyss from the easel, discarded. The artist’s hands found no veneration, though, scrutiny for this, not wanting; knew of its potential, but night after night, stroke after stroke, brush after brush, promise was left unmet, leaving a life’s work to lay as nothing beneath heavy feet. His eye's reflection reveals a time when the work’s each nuance was a solitary piece of passionate essence, when it was an embodiment of love; still remembers creativity's first wave, when the canvass took its first breath and the newborn’s piercing cries filled the dark room; when from nirvana, kaleidoscope colors united creating the intoxicating palette, where virginal hues debuted, and eloped with the morning light. All of this emerged from nothing upon nothing within nothing to exist just the same. ...He studies it one last time, wonders the matter a few more nights could bring, but, sadly, turns out the light and leaves the room, for time had run out -and redemption with it. < !signature--> [This message has been edited by Janie (edited 08-22-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Janie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seoulman Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 41 |
Hi Janie, finally got to this one but doing post grad & working gives me little time to comment as much as I'd like. I enjoyed the richness in which you described the artist's struggle with finishing a work, "piercing cries", "intoxicating palette", "virginal hues" were apt in showing us the emotion and scene of the artist at work. I would just make a few line changes, I mean seperate some of those longer lines and change for example "leaving a life work to lay as nothing beneath heavy feet" to "leaving a life work beneath heavy feet to lay" I think this gives an image of a 'work' confined to nothingness, instead of forcing these words on the reader let them use their imagination! Anyway, just a thought but enjoyed all the same, bye! |
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Janie Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158 |
Seoulman, Thanks for you time and comments, a busy boy I see. I see what you mean regarding some of the lines, too much like straight prose. I'll see what I can do. You didn't mention this, but I wanted to ask if you got that this is a metaphor, that the artist is God, the work,lost souls at the end of time? |
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Seoulman Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 41 |
Janie, to be honest I thought it could have been a metaphor for many things. Then again this is why my major is politics! Anyway, I can imagine it now you say, thanks |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Janie, I found it hard to see this as a metaphor for God. Perhaps, that's only because I've always pictured God as more omnipotent than this. What I was kind of looking for here is a kind of surprise - kind of like writing a poem when everything comes together on a multitude of different levels and you giggle to yourself, "Heh, this is pretty good." Of course, the next day you read it and are less than enamored with your "genius" but I was wondering if you might try to add some of that endorphine rush that comes from creation. Just a suggestion, Brad |
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Janie Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158 |
Brad, I respect what you say and if this doesn't produce a metaphor in which God is the artist in your mind then I haven't achieved my task. But for me, God is deeply symbolized in this work and maybe thus, it will just have to remain a private work for myself only. I agree, God is omnipotent but He gives us a choice to love Him, to choose Him. In this work, I picture God at the end of time reflecting on creation that emerged from "nothing" that He turned into something. The canvass of blood is Christ's blood shed for all of creation's salvation. The spec of primordial paint collectively represents those at the end of time who are not saved. I picture God wishing things could have been different, that He would have been chosen as He looks for whatever saving grace that can be found in these souls before He leaves them for all eternity. He knew each of the souls inside and out, He waited patiently through out time for them to come to Him, He lovingly remembers creating each individual. Part of the piece is my imagination of what it may have been like if creation had been witnessed by human eyes. The part about creation, I have Him remembering tenderly and gently as you would a newborn's birth. At the end of time I imagine God wondering if He waited a little longer if a few more souls would be saved, but in the end, it will be too late. In the end he will close the door on this world and the lost souls will be left behind and I believe God will be sad for having to do this. He is omnipotent, but He gives us the choice. I don't know if this explanation helps you see where I was coming from any better. I do appreciate your honest oppinion. I just don't know if I can make it what you suggest. I'll be thinking about this though. Thanks again, Janie |
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