Critical Analysis #1 |
Deep Cuts |
mannie New Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 3shawnee, ks |
I flench at the touch of this pain that cuts so very deep.It touches me in places that I did not know.My mind,my soul,my body is where this pain exist.I'm told to keep quiet,shutup,don't feel.But inside I scream in horro and pain.Why does my love have such shame? Love doesn't hear me,Love doesn't feel me.Love just doesn't care. Love strikes me hard across my face.Then shouts with strong conviction turn the other cheek.And strikes me yet again.Take this ,stand there,don't move,don't breath,DON'T FEEL.Love is not sorry.It shouts, I am not wrong. Don't cry,Don't look,Don't listen.I am not a child love screams.I am stepping back and soon I am stepping OUT.Deep Cuts Deep cuts. LOVE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE DEEP CUTS DEEP CUTS [This message has been edited by mannie (edited 07-17-99).] |
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© Copyright 1999 mannie - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonyogi Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 174United States |
I will try something out of the ordinary: you tell ME what your poem is about FIRST, before I attack your imagery, metaphors, and allusions. If you don't want to spoil your message for everyone else, you can e-mail me and I'll read it. I always have wished I could contact the author of a work and find out what she or he REALLY meant to say, versus what my English classes have told me words mean! email: [email protected] ------------------ Anonymous Web Poet |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
You actually want our critique? Brave soul!! Your poem was nothing more than rambling words...put it into some format that we can understand and repost. |
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Daniel2 Junior Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 28Waterloo, Ontario, Canada |
I hope you'll keep trying Mannie. Bob Dylan received a D in Chorus according to his Grade 4 report card at the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. |
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