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Critical Analysis #1

Search For Closure

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2000-07-28 09:05 PM

On a faded roll-a-way she sits with her eyes not still
and they roam the room searching walls, blinking. I try
to enter her space. After regaining a small trace of
strength, the situation starts to ease and proportionately
she settles. "You are my true Grandson?" she asks,
and I nod, recollecting how I'd found her.

The time wistfully burns. We lock our eyes aware of it.
Searching for lust, my wandering father found my mother to
fill his needs. If he were here, would he cry
to see us in this rest home, strangers?
I hope the truth's discernable when she speaks.

[This message has been edited by ethome (edited 07-29-2000).]

Tim Gouldthorp
Member

since 2000-01-03

Posts 170

1 posted 2000-07-29 02:42 AM

ethome,
If I am correct the narrator is the grandson,
the grandmother is in some kind of a home and has lost her memory, and some kind of understanding or rememberance is reached. Is the search for closure, a matter of some element in the past being reconcilled or made whole? Or some closure or connection of understanding with the grandmother so they are not strangers? I also thought of Derridian connotations of 'closure.' Maybe something could give just a little bit of direction to this.
In the second line I'd suggest a full stop and line end after 'blinking.' It is unclear from the grammar who is blinking. 'If he was here' should be 'If he were here' and I'd suggest a question mark at the end of the second last line.
just some thoughts.
-Tim

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2000-07-29 07:45 AM

Thanks Tim..good points..much appreciated.

YeshuJah Malikk
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 263

3 posted 2000-07-29 10:26 PM

I agree with Tim. I rather like the way spirit of the poem though. Hope it's not personal.

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