»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
You and I (Edited Version of Perfect)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
You and I (Edited Version of Perfect) |
|
|
Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania 
|
I love you more, than you could ever know Know you better than anyone at all All the guys mean nothing compared to you You are the one I love forever and longer Longer than eternity I will be your friend Friend, and a confidant, your partner in life Life is special and perfect with you here Here in my life you always need to stay Stay this way forever like I know you will Will make me happy and I will always try Try to make you happy and love you You made my world a happy and loving Loving and serene as I hope it will always be Be the angel that guards me from all danger Danger from all evil, you keep me safe, Safe and protected, you care for me sweetly Sweetly perfect as you always will be Be mine for ever and I will keep you happy Happy we found each other, you and I. ------------------ People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. -Bob Hope |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Susan Acacio - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
It's amazing to me how just a few changes in a poem can change the whole mood. I'm far more comfortable with this version as a 'sincere' poem than I was with the earlier version. Also, I do like the repetition effect with the last word, first word (something I completely missed the first time around. Perhaps, I was too uncomfortable with what I was reading). I think you've got a good 'ecstatic' love poem here. Pet peeve: just not a big fan of hyperbole in poetry (I know, I know. I'm in the minority on that one.) Thanks, Brad |
||
|
loyd168282 Junior Member
since 1999-09-10
Posts 12lou,ky jefferson |
WELL I WILL AGREE WITH WITH BRAD,IT IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!! |
||
|
Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Brad: Thanks for all of your help with this poem it really means a lot. I agree with you completely, this version is much more sincere and I like it a whole lot better. Thanks again! Loyd: Thank you too, your comment really means a lot! ------------------ People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. -Bob Hope |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||